Unbelievable Loire Valley Mansion: Private Pool & Bourbon-Lancy Luxury!
Unbelievable Loire Valley Mansion: My Honest-to-Goodness Review (Spoiler: Worth the Hype, But with a Few Quirks!)
Okay, so you're eyeing up this "Unbelievable Loire Valley Mansion: Private Pool & Bourbon-Lancy Luxury!" thing, huh? Let me tell you, I've just returned from the experience, and I'm still reeling. I'm talking good reeling, mostly. Think grand chateau vibes, but, you know, in the middle of nowhere, France. And a private pool. Sigh. Let's dive in, shall we? Be warned, this review might ramble a bit. It's just… a lot happened.
First Impressions – The "Wow" Factor… and the "Where am I?" Factor
Right off the bat, "Unbelievable" is a good starting point. The photos? They don't lie. This place is stunning. Rolling hills, meticulously manicured lawns, the whole shebang. We arrived after a slightly hairy drive – the GPS kept getting us lost in the labyrinthine backroads of the Loire Valley. (Getting help at the hotel, taxi service? Forget it. You’re pretty isolated here, folks.) The Mansion is grand, imposing, and makes you feel like a minor character in a fairytale. We had such a freaking hard time finding the place… like for an hour! Luckily the Car Park [free of charge] was big enough for us to turn around in when we got confused.
Accessibility & Safety Net (Important Stuff, Seriously)
Now, a few practicalities before the gushing starts. This place leans heavily into Luxury… but is it accessible luxury? Well, it's a mixed bag. I didn’t specifically need it, but I noticed:
- Wheelchair accessible: I think some areas are, but it wasn't perfectly clear. I didn't explore it thoroughly, so I'll err on the side of "check beforehand." The Elevator was a godsend, though, because the place is massive.
- Facilities for disabled guests: Again, check with the property directly. They clearly aim to be accommodating, but I can't vouch for firsthand experience.
- Safety/security feature: Smoke detectors, fire extinguishers, CCTV – all present and accounted for. Makes you feel safe, like they really do take it seriously.
- Security [24-hour], Front desk [24-hour], are vital. I felt like I could leave my wallet on the side and it would be fine.
- Check-in/out [express]: They will check you in fast! A bit too fast.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: They tried, but with the buffet restaurant sometimes the space got a little cramped.
The Pandemic Paradox (Cleanliness & Safety in the Age of Covid)
Look, we’re all kind of traumatised, right? So, how did this place fare in the virus wars? Pretty damn well, I have to say.
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Room sanitization between stays, and Rooms sanitized between stays: Yep, yep, and yep. You could smell the cleanliness sometimes, which was a good thing. They seriously had their act together.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere. Seriously, I think I have enough to last me a year.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: You could tell. They were masked up, friendly, and seemed genuinely concerned.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Observed.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: I saw them steaming the glasses! Impressive.
- Individually-wrapped food options: A lifesaver at breakfast.
- Cashless payment service: Easy peasy. I mean, who carries cash anymore?
- Safe dining setup: The restaurant did a pretty good job of social distancing, though it could get a bit crowded.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: That's a nice touch for people who're super anxious.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: No issues there.
- Hygiene certification: I didn't notice one, but the general cleanliness suggested they were following guidelines.
- Shared stationery removed: This is the oddest of them all: no stationery! At all! And the concierge at the front desk couldn't offer much in terms of what to do.
Alright, Alright, Let's Talk Luxury (And the Stuff That Makes You Go "Hmm…")
Okay, the good stuff. Oh, the good stuff. But first a little small drama: I forgot stuff, and the Convenience store wasn't around.
In-room – Available in all rooms, Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens: This is all true.
The Rooms: We booked a room with Air conditioning, and thank goodness, because July in the Loire Valley is hot (even in the mansion!) The Blackout curtains were PERFECT. The Extra long bed was something you can just melt into… like a cloud. The Slippers were fluffy. Everything made you feel pampered. The *Bathroom has a *Bathroom phone*. What even *is* that?
Internet access: I was actually able to get work done on my Laptop workspace, although the Internet access – LAN, and Internet access – wireless, wasn't the fastest. It was fine for email, not great for video calls (more on that later).
Dining, drinking, and snacking:
- Restaurants, Bar, Poolside bar, Coffee shop, Snack bar: There's food, drink and snacks!
- Breakfast: The buffet was amazing. I'm a sucker for a Breakfast [buffet], and this one had everything. Asian breakfast and Western breakfast options!
- Dining: A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Happy hour, Poolside bar, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant. The restaurant options are extensive. More good food.
The Pool (A Moment of Pure Bliss): So here's the thing that truly justifies the "Unbelievable" billing. The private pool. Seriously, it's like something out of a film. Swimming pool [outdoor] is breathtaking.
- Pool with view: This place nails it. Lush greenery, the mansion towering above, and the feeling of complete and utter tranquility. I swear I spent half my stay just floating there, sipping cocktails (more on that later).
Body Scrub/Wrap, Fitness Center, Sauna, Spa, Steamroom, Spa/sauna, Massage, Gym/fitness, Foot bath: It's hard to even get a sense of all the wonderful ways to relax.
The Good, the Bad, and the (Slightly) Annoying
- The Service: Mostly excellent. The staff were super helpful, friendly, and genuinely wanted to make our stay perfect. However, I also experienced a few, small "lost in translation" moments. Ordering a complicated cocktail at the Poolside bar? Be prepared for potential miscommunication. Like, seriously, I got a completely different drink than the one I ordered. But I tried to roll with it, and they were happy to fix it.
- Internet: As mentioned before, the Internet access – wireless, Internet [LAN], Internet services, Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!, Wi-Fi in public areas: was a bit spotty at times. If you need to be absolutely glued to the internet, this isn't the place for you. If you want a digital detox, perfect!
- The Little Extras: I loved the Bottle of water left in the room, and the Complimentary tea. Small touches that make a difference!
- Getting Around: You need a car. Seriously. Taxi service are in short supply.
- Things to do: Okay, so, this is where things get a little tricky. There's the pool, the spa (Spa/sauna), and the mansion itself. But the surrounding area? It's beautiful, but quiet. Plenty of bicycle parking!
- Bicycling near the hotel would
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive HEADFIRST into a French adventure, a glorious, slightly-unhinged, and definitely-not-perfect trip to a Vintage Mansion in Saint Aubin-sur-Loire with a pool near Bourbon-Lancy. Prepare yourselves for the emotional rollercoaster that IS my travel itinerary. (And by "itinerary," I mean "loose suggestion with a side of chaos.")
Day 1: Arrival and Mild Panic
- Morning (or whenever I finally drag myself out of bed after the red-eye): Arrive in Paris. Okay, first hurdle: navigating Charles de Gaulle. I swear, they designed that airport to test the limits of human patience. Finding my way through the crowds always starts with my head in the clouds. This time it was definitely cloudy, and I got off on the wrong floor, or the wrong terminal. I was already three baguette lengths from a total meltdown.
- Afternoon: Rent a car. This is where things get interesting. “Easy” is not a word I associate with French car rentals. The language, the insurance, the sheer number of tiny, intimidating European cars… it’s a symphony of potential disaster. Last time, I "accidentally" reserved a stick shift, despite the fact that my last experience with a stick was… well, let's just say it involved a lot of stalling and a very understanding driving instructor. The woman at the counter, with her perfectly coiffed hair and icy blue eyes, probably thought I was a complete idiot. (She was, let's be honest, probably right.)
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening: The drive to the mansion. Google Maps promises a leisurely 3-hour jaunt. Google Maps LIED. It's closer to 4, and the countryside is so breathtaking it's almost distracting. Seriously, the rolling hills, the fields of sunflowers, the charming little villages… it’s enough to make a girl forget she’s been sitting in a car for too long. I took a wrong turn, got hopelessly lost, and finally found a tiny café in a village that looked like it had been lifted straight from a fairytale. A very kind old woman, bless her heart, pointed me in the right direction with a smile and a strong shot of espresso. God bless her.
- Evening: Arrive at the Vintage Mansion! Oh. My. God. This place is GORGEOUS. Seriously, like, period-drama gorgeous. The pool is even better than the pictures. I am immediately, and completely, in love. Settle in. Unpack…ish. Drink ALL the champagne (okay, maybe just one bottle… or two…).
Day 2: Swimming Pool Obsession and Culinary Mishaps
- Morning: Wake up, bleary-eyed, and stumble directly towards the pool. The water is cool, the sun is warm, and all is right with the world. I swear, I could live in that pool. Probably should've brought some books.
- Mid-morning: Attempt to make coffee. Failed miserably. (See: previous coffee-related anecdotes). Start on a second attempt, and fail again.
- Lunch: French Picnic Time! I had ambitious ideas of a fabulous picnic basket with cheeses and baguettes. But I realized I had forgotten the cheese knife and the wine opener. Okay, so it turned into crackers, pre-sliced cheese, and an apple.
- Afternoon: Head into Bourbon-Lancy. This adorable little town. I spent the next 5 hours in a vintage shop. Seriously. I unearthed ancient trinkets, a chipped porcelain teacup, and a dress that might fit (with a little… tailoring). It's a treasure trove for a maximalist like me.
- Evening: Dinner at the Mansion, I'm trying to cook for myself. But even when I got the supplies to my kitchen, things went off the rails very quickly. The salad dressing exploded on the ceiling. The fish was overcooked. The potatoes were… well, let’s just say I ordered pizza. At least the pizza was delicious.
Day 3: Exploring and the French Countryside Drama
- Morning: More pool time. Don't judge me.
- Mid-morning: Decide to be "cultured." Force myself on a walk in the French countryside. The scenery is stunning, but I’m struggling to avoid the cow patties. Note to self: Invest in stylish, yet sturdy, walking shoes.
- Afternoon: Decide to explore the area. Decide to drive. Get lost again. End up on a tiny country road. The car gets stuck. Panic sets in. Fortunately, a very handsome farmer (who, for the record, was not wearing denim overalls) comes to the rescue with his tractor. Turns out, I was on a path meant for bikes, not cars.
- Evening: Another attempt at a decent meal. Order in again… This time, it's crepes.
Day 4: Relaxation, Reflection, and Existential Questions
- Morning: Spend the morning staring at the pool.
- Afternoon: I have to sit there and wonder why I am so bad at cooking.
- Evening: Stargazing. The French night sky is magical. I'm talking constellation-mapping magical. I try to find my favorite constellations but am convinced I'm looking at a new species of stars. Question: Is this what the universe truly holds?
Day 5: The Departure and The Bitter Sweetness
- Morning: More pool time. Last swim!
- Afternoon: Pack. Clean up the miniature disaster zone that is my bedroom. Say goodbye to the Vintage Mansion. (Sob a little.)
- Evening: The drive back to Paris. This time, I make it without getting lost. Success! (Mostly.) Reflect on the trip. I can't believe it's already over. I can't wait to go back.
- Night: Fly back home. Already planning my return. With more cheese knives, a real coffee maker, and a GPS that (hopefully) won't lead me into a farmer's field.
Unbelievable Loire Valley Mansion: Private Pool & Bourbon-Lancy Luxury! - Let's Get Real, Shall We?
Okay, spill the tea. Is this place *actually* as amazing as it sounds? Because, you know, marketing...
Alright, alright, deep breath. Yes. And no. It's…complicated. Let's start with the good, because *that pool*? Sweet mother of all things holy, that pool is a goddamn dream. I spent a solid afternoon just floating, contemplating the meaning of life (and the best way to get a tan without looking like a lobster). The mansion itself…it has *presence*. Think French chateau meets…well, me, after a few glasses of Loire Valley wine. It's grand, it's beautiful, the furniture looked like it came straight from a museum. Which, by the way, also made me terrified to *sit* on anything. Especially after I nearly spilled a glass of the aforementioned wine on a priceless antique chaise lounge. The housekeeper, God bless her, just raised an eyebrow and muttered something in French that *definitely* wasn’t a compliment.
But the marketing? Oh, the marketing. They promised ‘seamless luxury’. What they didn’t mention was the occasional plumbing hiccup that left me with a lukewarm shower on the first morning. "Charm," they said. "Historic character." They conveniently forgot to mention the draftiness. Seriously, I packed for a summer holiday and ended up needing my winter woollies. And don't even get me started on the wifi. It was a *literal* gamble. Could you load a picture? Maybe! Could you, you know, *work*? Hah! Good luck with that.
Bourbon-Lancy? Is there actually bourbon anywhere near this place? And is it... you know... worth visiting?
Spoiler alert: no bourbon. Or, at least, I didn't find any. Bourbon-Lancy is…well, it’s a charming little thermal town. Think old ladies in floral dresses, the scent of sulfur in the air (yay, healing springs!), and a general sense of…tranquility. It’s a *contrast* to the ‘Unbelievable Mansion’ vibe. You're not exactly going to find a bustling nightlife. But the thermal baths? Surprisingly relaxing. And the local patisseries? Oh, my god. My waistline still hasn't forgiven me.
Worth visiting? Depends. If you're craving a sensory overload of luxury and a non-stop party, probably not. If you’re looking for a place to unwind, recharge, and maybe forget about the fact that you’re still dealing with that questionable wifi, then yes. Plus, the small-town charm is a welcome break from the mansion’s… well, the pressure. You know, the pressure of not breaking anything or doing anything wrong. I needed that break, desperately.
Tell me about the food. Did you eat like a king or were you left foraging for scraps?
The food... Ah, the food. This, my friends, is where things got interesting. The mansion offered a chef (thank God. I can barely cook a decent scrambled egg.) The food was AMAZING. Like, Michelin-star-worthy amazing. Truffles, foie gras, locally sourced everything... I felt like I was in a food coma for a week. But... (and there’s always a but, isn’t there?)… it was SO MUCH. I mean, courses upon courses. I’m pretty sure I gained five pounds just looking at the menu.
Also, the portions were… generous. Sometimes I just *wanted* a sandwich, you know? A simple, honest sandwich. But no, it was always a multi-layered creation with fifteen different ingredients and a sauce you couldn't pronounce. On the last day, I snuck out to a local boulangerie and ate a baguette with butter and jam in front of the mansion, feeling immensely, ridiculously, happy. That baguette? The best meal of the trip. Don’t tell the chef.
What's the one thing you *really* loved about the mansion, and the one thing that drove you absolutely nuts?
Okay, loves? Let’s be honest here. The one thing I *really* loved? The pool. I’ve already mentioned it, but I’m going to double down. That pool was my sanity. I could escape to it, forget about my responsibilities, just *be*. And that feeling of being, you know, alone with my thoughts, was *precious*. Plus, the sunsets over the Loire Valley reflected in the water? Unforgettable. I may or may not have shed a tear or two while floating peacefully, it was just that good.
As for what drove me nuts? The WIFI. Seriously. It was a constant source of frustration. I’m a writer, I need the internet, it's my oxygen! Trying to get any work done was a torturous exercise in patience. I’m pretty sure I spent half my time just restarting the router. I’m *still* having withdrawal symptoms. Plus, the paranoia that you might be charged insane data roaming rates by the hour. Let me tell you, that killed the vibe! I mean, here I was, supposedly living the high life, and I was spending all my time stressed about emails not delivering. I’m still having nightmares about it. Maybe the mansion should invest in a better network. Just saying!
Beyond the pool and the wifi, what are some unexpected or hidden gems for those who stay there?
Alright, here's a secret. Beyond the obvious allure of the pool and the frustration of the internet, the hidden gems are personal discovery. For me it was walking around the grounds with a cup of coffee, that and the tiny, tiny, tiny hidden trails around the property. The first time I got lost, I was frustrated. The second time, I was laughing. Being lost in the French countryside? It's a vibe.
Then, there was the library, which I didn't find until the third day. It was filled with ancient books and the smell of aged paper. I spent hours there, getting lost in stories and forgetting all about my problems. It was like time stood still. That's when you realize, it's not just about the luxury, it's about the escape, the peace, the simple, small moments. That's what I'll remember.
Would you recommend this place? Be brutally honest!
Okay, the verdict. Would I recommend this place? Yes. But… with caveats. If you have a trust fund, love fancy food and don't *need* to be connected 24/7, ABSOLUTELY. You will have a blast. If you appreciate history, beautiful surroundings, and a bit of peace and quiet, you'll probably have a blast too.
Just…manage your expectations. It’s not perfect. It’s charmingly flawed. And bring a portable hotspot. Seriously. And maybe a sweaterChicstayst
