Escape to Paradise: Your Croatian Stone Dream Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: My Croatian Stone Dream… Almost! (A Messy, Honest Review)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the beans on my "Escape to Paradise: Your Croatian Stone Dream Awaits!" experience. And trust me, it’s less pristine postcard and more… well, you’ll see. Prepare for a rollercoaster of sunshine, disappointment, and a healthy dose of Croatian charm (with a few questionable plumbing incidents thrown in for good measure).
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Let's start with the dream part. The website photos? Absolutely gorgeous. Picture perfect. Stone walls, shimmering turquoise pools, that golden Croatian sun kissing everything… My expectations? Sky high. Reality? A bit more… rustic.
Accessibility… this is where things began to wobble. The website touted “Facilities for disabled guests.” Great, I thought, making sure all the boxes are checked… Then arrived and it didn’t feel very accessible. The main entrance? A charming flight of stone steps. The elevator? Only covered part of the journey. The “wheelchair accessible” room… well, let's just say maneuvering felt like an Olympic sport. I'm not a wheelchair user myself, but I was very concerned about the lack of accessibility for my neighbor who spent a lot of time in a wheelchair. The staff were friendly, bless their hearts, and helpful - but "helpful" doesn't always equal "actually accessible." This needs a serious overhaul, pronto. Accessibility rating: 2/5 Needs massive improvement.
On-site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: Again, the layout presented some issues. Getting to the restaurant area meant navigating more of those charming steps. There were certainly spaces within the restaurant, itself, that seemed accommodating, but getting to the actual eating area, now that's the tricky part.
Alright, deep breath. Let’s move on to the good stuff: Things to Do & Relax! This is where "Escape to Paradise" almost redeemed itself.
Pool with view: Oh, the pool with a view! Absolutely stunning. Perched on a cliff, the views were breathtaking, the water sparkling. Spent hours just floating, cocktail in hand, gazing out at the Adriatic. Pure bliss. Rating: 5/5 - pure, unadulterated magic.
Spa/Sauna/Steamroom: Ah, the spa. Tried the sauna (exquisite!) and the steam room (my pores thanked me). The vibe was luxurious, and they offered a range of treatments. Could have been a little more private.
Massage: This was the highlight. Got a deep tissue massage that unknotted every single muscle in my body. The masseuse, bless her, had magic hands. I think I dozed off for a good chunk of it. Woke up feeling like a brand new person! Massage Rating: 5/5 - would go back JUST for the massage!
Fitness center: Yep, there was one - a decent gym, equipped with all the essentials.
Foot bath: It was there. I did not use it.
Okay, so, with the body treatments, fitness center, and beautiful pools, things looked up. But…
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking… Here’s where the cracks in the idyllic facade started to show.
Restaurants: Multiple restaurants, thankfully! Variety is the spice of life, right? The buffet was decent, standard fare with some interesting regional specialities. Breakfast [buffet] was the usual continental situation - lots of coffee, bread, cold cuts, eggs - but, the lack of real bacon was seriously disappointing.
Asian breakfast: The Asian breakfast was… interesting. Edamame and miso soup, a pleasant surprise, but some of the other offerings felt a little lost in translation, but with a taste of Croatia.
Happy hour: Yes! Cocktails by the pool at sunset? Sign me up! The drinks were well-made and the atmosphere was lively. A definite highlight.
Poolside bar: Conveniently located (I didn't have to leave my sunbathing post!) with friendly staff and a great selection of snacks.
A la carte in restaurant - The evening meal from the menu, at times, felt overpriced for the quality.
The real problem? The service. It was… patchy, at best. Sometimes attentive, sometimes… disappearing. You'd flag down a waiter, and they'd either forget your order or take an eternity to bring it. One day, I swear, it took 45 minutes to get a bottle of water. Talk about frustrating! Dining Experience Rating: 3/5 – good efforts but inconsistent execution.
Cleanliness and Safety: In the wake of these pandemic days, safety precautions were evident.
Hand sanitizer and hand hygiene was available: Plenty of sanitizing stations around, and staff were masking up. They also had Daily disinfection in common areas.
Room sanitization opt-out available: This was a nice touch.
Rooms sanitized between stays: You could tell a major effort was made, which was reassuring.
Staff trained in safety protocol: The staff seemed to be trained and was ready to help out.
Cashless payment service: The availability of contactless payment was a definite plus.
Services and Conveniences: Let's be honest, some of this stuff was top-notch.
Wi-Fi [free]: THANK GOD. Reliable Wi-Fi across all the rooms. Needed that for work, streaming, and, let's be honest, all things connected.
Concierge: Helpful for booking excursions, taxis, etc.
Laundry service, Dry cleaning: Available, and did a good job
Daily housekeeping: Rooms were cleaned daily, which was great.
Airport transfer: Convenient.
Luggage storage: Useful for early arrivals/late departures.
Meeting/banquet facilities: Yes, plenty of space for events.
Services and Conveniences (the Bad):
- Food delivery: Available, but limited in choice. I prefer my own restaurant choices.
- Doctor/nurse on call: Good to have, but hopefully, you won't need them!
Available in all rooms:
Yes, Air conditioning was a life-saver. Coffee/tea maker: essential.
Now, the really messy part. My room.
My Room: A Love-Hate Story
Okay, so, I was in a "Superior Sea View Room". Sounded posh, right? The view was spectacular. Blackout curtains were an absolute blessing for sleeping in. Extra long bed: Check. Clean and fresh linens. Daily housekeeping was efficient and professional. A refrigerator to keep my drinks chilled. A small seating area to chill out in. But…
The “quirks” started pretty early. The first morning? No hot water. Called reception, who sent someone up. Fixed! Sorted! Hooray! … Until the next morning. Cold shower. Again. This time, the repair person was less enthusiastic. "Old plumbing," he shrugged, which, I got the impression, meant "Deal with it."
The internet access – wireless was great
Then there was the… sound. The exterior corridor allowed for many "comings and goings." You were constantly aware of the people outside, which, depending on the mood, became tiring.
Smoke detector was very sensitive and went off at the drop of a hat!
Bathroom: The bathroom was spacious, but the fixtures looked a little dated. The bathtub… well, it was there.
The desk wasn't great for working space, and there wasn't much laptop workspace.
The most glaring thing was the internet access – wireless, which just kept dropping out.
Honestly the air conditioning was a gift from heaven, and the safe box was great.
The Verdict?
"Escape to Paradise"… it almost lives up to the name. The setting is stunning, the pool is heavenly, and the spa massages are life-changing. But the accessibility issues, the inconsistent service, and the plumbing woes knocked a significant point off. I'd give it a solid 3.5/5 stars, leaning towards 4 because of the positives, but with a massive caveat: if you have any accessibility concerns, call ahead and ask very detailed questions. Otherwise, prepare for a bit of a bumpy, but ultimately charming, ride. Would I go back? Probably. But I'd be packing a plunger.
Escape to Trier: Stunning Holiday Home with Terrace Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to go on a trip to Velebit that's less "perfect curated Instagram feed" and more "sweaty, sun-kissed, and slightly chaotic." This is my itinerary for an authentic stone house experience in Starigrad, Croatia, and let me tell you, it's already promising to be a wild ride.
Day 1: Arrival and Instant Croatian Crush
- Morning (6:00 AM – 9:00 AM): The flight. Ugh. Airports. Enough said. Endless security lines, questionable airplane coffee… But hey, on the bright side, I scored a window seat, which is crucial for the first glimpse of that Croatian coastline from above. The sea? Turquoise. The islands? Seductively jagged. Already a good sign. Landed in Split.
- Morning (9:00 AM – 12:00 PM): Renting a car. I'm usually an "all public transport, all the time" kind of traveler, but Velebit screams "freedom on four wheels." I'm picturing cruising along the coast, windows down, hair whipping in the wind. Turns out, freedom comes with a tiny FIAT that maybe had a slightly wonky clutch. Note to self: practice hill starts.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM – 2:00 PM): The Drive! The coastal road is a revelation. Seriously, the sea, the mountains, the sun… It's a visual assault in the best way possible. Stopped at a small konoba (tavern) for lunch: grilled fish, crusty bread, and a local white wine that tasted like sunshine distilled. Croatian food: already a massive win. I can get used to this.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM – 4:00 PM): Check-in to the stone house! Okay, this is where things get real. Imagine a house built before electricity was even a twinkle in Edison’s eye. Thick stone walls, tiny windows, a feeling of utter serenity… and that smell! Old wood, a hint of the sea, and something indefinably comforting. I'd say more but I'm still in shock.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM – 6:00 PM): Explore the town of Starigrad. Wandering the old town, getting lost in the narrow streets, and immediately falling head-over-heels for the laid-back vibe. It's sleepy, in the best possible way. Found a little café, ordered an espresso, and watched the locals go about their day. Pure bliss.
- Evening (6:00 PM – 9:00 PM): Dinner at a local konoba, again. This time, it was a traditional peka (slow-cooked meat and vegetables) under a bell. The taste? Out-of-this-world delicious. The conversations with the locals? Limited by my terrible Croatian, but filled with smiles and laughter. Drank wine in a quiet courtyard, feeling overwhelmingly content.
Day 2: Hiking and Almost Murdering Myself… in a Good Way
- Morning (8:00 AM – 9:00 AM): Up early! Even though the bed was like a cloud! Breakfast: fresh figs from the garden (score!), some bread and cheese I picked up in town, and a strong coffee. Fueling up for a hike in the Velebit mountains.
- Morning (9:00 AM – 12:00 PM): Hiking, Part 1: So, Velebit. Majestic. Stunning. Challenging. I chose a trail that was, shall we say, ambitious. Steep inclines, loose rocks, relentless sunshine… I sweated more than I thought humanly possible. But the views from the top? Absolutely worth it.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM – 1:00 PM): The Picnic That Saved My Life: I had packed lunch, thank god, because by this point I was near collapse. Found a shady spot on the trail, devoured some sandwiches, and felt the life come back into me.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM – 4:00 PM): Hiking, Part 2: The descent. This is where things got interesting. One wrong step and I was looking at a tumble down a very, very steep slope. Suffice to say, I was very glad I didn't roll down the mountainside. By the end, my legs felt like jelly.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM – 5:00 PM): Return and recover in the house. I took a long, cold shower, changed into clean clothes, and collapsed on the bed for a nap.
- Evening (5:00 PM – 7:00 PM): Relaxation/Rehydration: Back in Starigrad, I found a beachfront bar, ordered a cold beer, and watched the sun dip below the horizon. The relief of that beer…pure heaven.
- Evening (7:00 PM – 9:00 PM): Dinner! This time it was a simple pasta dish at the house. I wasn't in the mood for a crowd. I spent the evening making small talk with the locals and the people staying in the accommodation.
Day 3: The Sea, the Sun, and the Unexpected…
- Morning (9:00 AM – 12:00 PM): A day at the beach. The crystal-clear waters of the Adriatic called my name. Found a tiny, secluded cove, spent hours swimming, sunbathing, and generally being a lazy lump. The water was unbelievably clear, you could see the bottom perfectly.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM – 1:00 PM): Seafood lunch at a beachside restaurant. Freshly grilled fish, fresh salad, and, you guessed it, more sunshine. I'm starting to think I could live off this stuff.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM – 3:00 PM): Watersports or Beach Combing? Yes to both! Some light kayaking, exploring hidden coves, and a bit of snorkeling. Found a few beautiful shells. Just overall relaxing.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM – 5:00 PM): A boat trip. I went to the port and found a little boat and asked the driver to take me to the Paklenica National Park. It was a long trip. Not worth it.
- Evening (5:00 PM – 7:00 PM): Sunset drinks in Starigrad. This evening, it was a little bit different. I caught a little concert and sang some Croatian songs.
- Evening (7:00 PM – 9:00 PM): Final Dinner. I went to a place where I could sing karaoke.
Day 4: The Farewell (and the Promise to Return)
- Morning (9:00 AM – 10:00 AM): Last Breakfast. Savoring every last bite of the Croatian delicacies. Taking one last look at that view, storing it in my memory bank.
- Morning (10:00 AM – 12:00 PM): A final wander through the town. Picking up souvenirs, saying goodbye to some of the friendly locals, and taking one last deep breath of salty air. I will miss this place.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM – 2:00 PM): The Drive Back. This time, it felt different. The drive, had a certain sadness, knowing I was leaving this beautiful place.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM – 3:00 PM): Leave. I said my goodbyes to the car rental place, and was off.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM – 6:00 PM): The flight home. I am excited to go home. I miss my house.
- Evening (6:00 PM – 9:00 PM): Get home.
Impromptu Moments & Imperfections:
- The Cat: There was a cat. A very friendly cat who adopted me for a day. He (or she, I couldn't tell) followed me everywhere, and I may or may not have shared my lunch.
- Language Barrier: My attempts at Croatian were, frankly, embarrassing. But the locals were incredibly patient and kind, even when I butchered their language.
- The Shower: That stone house shower? Let's just say the water pressure was…rustic. Sometimes the water ran cold. Sometimes it didn't run at all. But hey, character, right?
- The Spontaneity: I didn't plan everything. I embraced the unexpected detours, the recommendations from locals, and the moments of pure serendipity.
Emotional Reactions:
- Joy: Unadulterated, pure joy at the beauty of Croatia, the kindness of the people, and the delicious food.
- Exasperation: Moments of sheer exhaustion on those hikes, and some frustration with the language barrier.
- Wonder: A sense of wonder at the history, the culture, and the simple act of being present
Escape to Paradise: Your Croatian Stone Dream Awaits! - Question &...ish
Okay, so... Croatia? Seriously? What's the Big Deal?
Alright, alright, settle down. Croatia. Look, I get it. You've seen the Instagram pics. Pristine beaches, turquoise water, charming little towns plastered with that *perfect* light... It all feels a bit… stock photo, doesn't it? Well, let me tell you, it’s not entirely a lie.
The big deal? Freedom, babes. Pure, unadulterated freedom. The kind you feel the second the salt spray hits your face on the ferry to Hvar. Or when you're crammed into a tiny Konoba (that’s Croatian for restaurant, by the way, and the food is AMAZING) scoffing down grilled octopus. Seriously, it's like a whole new level of chill. It's the smell of pine, the sound of the crickets at night, the way the sun feels on your skin. It's... well, it’s *good*. Maybe even dangerously good.
One time, I was in Dubrovnik, right? Walking around the city walls – stunning, by the way, total Game of Thrones vibes (if you're into that). And this pigeon, bless its feathery little heart, pooped RIGHT on the back of my freshly ironed shirt. Mortifying, right? Disaster! And then... I just laughed. Just a big, ugly, tourist-y guffaw. Because even bird poop couldn't ruin it. That's Croatia for you. It’s about managing the imperfect and embracing the gorgeous, all in one glorious mess.
I'm on a Budget. Is this Dream...Affordable?
Okay, let's be real. "Affordable" is relative, right? Croatia used to be *cheap*, like, backpacker-on-a-shoestring cheap. Those days are GONE. It's gotten… more popular. That means prices have inflated, like a particularly fluffy croissant (and the croissants? Divine, by the way). But! It's still way more affordable than, say, a week in the South of France. Way.
Here’s the deal: it *can* be done on a budget. Stick to apartments (Airbnb, booking.com, you know the drill), eat at Konobas away from the super-touristy areas (you'll find SO much better food anyway), and drink local wine (seriously, their wine is amazing and relatively cheap). Skip the fancy boat trips (unless you REALLY want one – they're phenomenal) and take the ferries, which are surprisingly decent and a lot cheaper.
One budget-busting tip: buy your own snacks and drinks at the local markets. Those tiny little stores selling pre-made sandwiches? Highway robbery. I learned that the hard way. Ate a sad little ham and cheese sandwich for a price that would make a Parisian cringe. Don't be me. Be prepared.
Best Time to Go? Avoid the Tourist Traps?
Oof, the crowds. They're the only downside, and potentially a deal-breaker if you hate jostling for photos. Peak season (July and August) is… intense. Like, shoulder-to-shoulder, feeling-like-a-sweaty-sardine intense. Beautiful, yes, but also a test of your patience.
My recommendation? Shoulder season. May/June and September are GOLD. The weather's still gorgeous, the sea is warm enough to swim in, the crowds are *manageable*, and prices are lower. You still get that brilliant sun (don't underestimate the sunblock - I got a lobster-red burn one time and it was not cute).
To avoid the worst tourist traps, get off the beaten path. Even within popular cities like Dubrovnik, there are quieter streets and hidden gems (look for the little "Peka" restaurants - the food is cooked under a bell and is ridiculously good). Explore the islands – Hvar, Korcula, Brac are the big names, but there are *tons* of smaller, less-crowded ones. My personal favorite? Vis. That place felt like stepping back in time. Bliss.
I Don't Speak Croatian! Am I Doomed?
Nope! Not doomed at all. English is widely spoken, especially in tourist areas. Seriously, you'll be fine. Restaurant menus are often in English, and most people in the hospitality industry speak it.
But here's a tip: learn a few basic phrases. "Dobar dan" (good day), "hvala" (thank you), "molim" (please) and "jedno pivo, molim" (one beer, please) will go a long way. Croatians are generally friendly and appreciate the effort (even if you pronounce everything wrong, like I do). Bonus points for attempting to order in Croatian - always makes the interaction a little richer and more fun, even if you sound like a broken robot. And the beer? It's good. Trust me on that.
One time, I was trying to order coffee at a small cafe. I butchered the Croatian for "black coffee, please" so badly the barista just started laughing. We had a fun interaction, I still got my coffee and it made my day. It's the little things, right? And the coffee was amazing.
What should I Pack? Besides my bikini, obviously.
Ah, the eternal packing question. Okay, ditch the kitchen sink. Trust me, you won't need it. Pack light. Seriously light. You'll be moving around, probably taking ferries, and hauling a huge suitcase through those charming, cobbled streets is a fast track to misery.
Essentials: Comfortable walking shoes (those cobblestones!), light clothing (linen is your friend), a hat, sunscreen (the sun is relentless!), a swimsuit (or three!), a reusable water bottle, and a small backpack for day trips. A universal adapter is a must (Europe uses a different plug). And don’t forget your phone charger! You’ll be taking a million photos.
Pro Tip: Pack a small, lightweight scarf or sarong. It's incredibly versatile. Can be used as a beach cover-up, a shawl for cooler evenings, a makeshift towel, or to cover your shoulders when visiting churches (respect those places! don't be "that tourist"). And don't forget your camera. You're going to want to capture everything. Everything. Just make sure you back them up, because you will be devastated if you lose all those sunset photos. Did I say I take a lot of photos? Yes I did!
Tell Me About the Food! Is it Really as Good as Everyone Says?
Oh. My. God. The food. Okay, take a deep breath. Yes, it's as good as everyone says. Probably even better. I'm not even a "foodie," and it blew my mind. Fresh, flavorful, simple... the Croatian kitchen is a masterclass in culinary bliss.
Seafood is a must. Grilled fish, octopus salad, black risotto (made with squid ink - don't let it put youSave On Hotels Now
