Zeeland Escape: Luxurious Whirlpool & Tranquil Haven in Colijnsplaat!
Zeeland Escape: A Whirlwind of Whirlpools and Whispers of Tranquility (Or, My Trip to Colijnsplaat…and Why I Need Another Vacation Already)
Okay, so I’ve just gotten back from “Zeeland Escape: Luxurious Whirlpool & Tranquil Haven in Colijnsplaat!” and… well, let’s just say my camera roll is a testament to a truly “luxurious” experience. (Translation: I took a lot of pictures). This isn't your typical polished travelogue, folks. This is the real deal, warts and all, because frankly, a perfectly curated travel review feels about as authentic as a Kardashian's Instagram feed.
First Impressions: The drive there? Gorgeous. Zeeland itself? Honestly, breathtaking. Rolling hills, the salty tang of the sea…it’s a feast for the eyes. Getting to the hotel? Easy-peasy. Car park [free of charge] was a lifesaver, because let's be honest, no one wants to spend their precious holiday budget on parking fees. The fact that they had Car park [on-site] too? Well, that was a bonus if you're picky about where you leave your vehicle. Accessibility was a plus, even though I didn't personally use the Wheelchair accessible features, it was great to see the hotel catering to everyone.
Check-In Chaos (and Charm): The Check-in/out [express] option was a godsend. I'm not a fan of long queues after a journey, you know? And the Contactless check-in/out? In this day and age? Absolutely brilliant. The receptionist was genuinely friendly, despite the fact I must have looked like I'd wrestled a walrus on the way there (travel fatigue is REAL). Speaking of which, the Doorman offered a helping hand, what a nice touch!
The Room…My Personal Bubble of Bliss (and a Few Minor Gripes): Okay, my room. Oh. My. Goodness. Let's kick off with the essentials: Air conditioning, Free Wi-Fi, Coffee/tea maker, Mini bar (stocked to the brim!), and a Refrigerator for my emergency chocolate stash (priorities, people!). The Wi-Fi [free] worked like a charm. The In-room safe box was a comforting touch for my valuables, alongside features like the Alarm clock, Desk, Hair dryer, etc. The Bed? Utterly, gloriously, sink-into-it comfortable. I swear, I could have stayed in that bed for a week straight. The Additional toilet was a luxurious touch as well, made the shared space so much more convenient. But, (and there’s always a “but,” isn’t there?) the view, while lovely, perhaps could have been a touch more "Zeeland." It overlooked…a different part of the hotel. Still, Window that opens! That's a win in my book. And, most importantly, the Zeeland Escape really was an escape - the Soundproof rooms were amazing.
The Whirlpool (And the Moment I Accidentally Became a Human Pancake): Now, let's talk Luxurious Whirlpool. That was the selling point, wasn't it? And it lived up to the hype, mostly. Picture this: champagne, bubbles, the world melting away… pure, unadulterated bliss. I even had access to Bathrobes and Slippers to maximize the experience. The Additional toilet was a luxurious touch as well, made the shared space so much more convenient.
Here’s the funny part. The first night, I had the brilliant idea of getting a drink after my hot tub session. I was so relaxed, I barely noticed the step down into the lobby. Let's just say I learned firsthand how quickly a perfectly good pair of ankles can betray you. I ended up sprawled on the floor, looking like a startled beetle. Luckily, I hadn't completely destroyed my dignity. A staff member quickly came to my rescue. Reception was front desk [24-hour] and super helpful. She was amazing – she got me some ice, and a cup of tea…and made me feel less mortified about being a public klutz. They even gave me a blanket since my dressing gown was still back in the room. I'm telling you, the First aid kit came in handy! This is a story that I'll be telling at parties for years.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Culinary Adventure (Mostly Good): The Restaurant was a culinary adventure, or at least, it tried to be. Breakfast [buffet] was a mixed bag. The Asian breakfast offerings were a bit… suspect (sorry, Zeeland, you’re not quite nailing Pad Thai yet). However, the Western breakfast was a solid win. The Coffee/tea in restaurant was decent and had great flavor, but the Breakfast takeaway service did come in handy for the late-morning snoozers (ahem, me). The Poolside bar was a great place to relax with a drink. I also tried a few items from the A la carte in restaurant menu, and the soup and salad were the best.
Rambling on Services: Let's now get serious for a second shall we? The staff are well trained, with Staff trained in safety protocol. I liked the Cashless payment service, and the Daily housekeeping as well. Ironing service, Laundry service, and Daily disinfection in common areas. It's great to see the hotels providing a level of service people are looking for.
Relaxation Station: Spa Dreams and Fitness Fails: Okay, the Spa! This was where the magic truly happened. The Massage was… swoon. Hands-down the best massage I’ve ever had. I strongly recommend everyone take advantage of the Body scrub and Body wrap. The Sauna and Steamroom were also top-notch, a perfect way to unwind after a day of… well, existing. The Pool with view was simply stunning. And the Swimming pool [outdoor] and Swimming pool were the perfect temperature for a swim.
I did briefly attempt the Fitness center. Emphasis on attempt. Let's just say my relationship with exercise is… complicated. The equipment looked shiny and impressive, but I mostly stuck to the treadmill for a brisk 10 minutes before retreating to the poolside bar.
Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling Secure in Zeeland: I will admit that was a priority for me. The hotel was spotless. The Anti-viral cleaning products, the Hand sanitizer stations everywhere, and the clear emphasis on Hygiene certification really put my mind at ease. The fact that the rooms were Rooms sanitized between stays was reassuring, as was the fact that Staff trained in safety protocol. Seeing the CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property added an extra layer of security. It was super reassuring that the hotel practices Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, as well as the First aid kit.
For the Kids (and the Young at Heart): I didn't travel with kids, but the Family/child friendly aspect seemed well catered for. I saw a Babysitting service advertised and the Kids facilities looked well-equipped.
Bits and Bobs, the Extras: The Terrace was a lovely spot to relax, and the Bar had a cracking atmosphere. The Gift/souvenir shop was tempting but my wallet survived. The Concierge was extremely helpful. The hotel's Air conditioning in public area made all the difference.
The Verdict: Should You Go?
Absolutely. (And if you do: watch out for the stairs.) Zeeland Escape isn't perfect – no hotel is – but the pros far outweigh the cons. The location is incredible, the spa is heavenly, the staff are wonderful, and the whirlpools? Well, they're worth the price of admission alone. Just…bring your own ankle supports, okay? Then again, the doctor/nurse on call is always a good option. I'm already dreaming of going back.
Escape to the Alps: Stunning Austrian Ski Chalet with Balcony!
Alright, here’s a gloriously messy, opinionated, and downright human itinerary for a holiday home with a whirlpool in that sweet, sweet Zeeland town of Colijnsplaat, Netherlands. Prepare for a bumpy, beautiful ride:
Colijnsplaat Chaos: A Zeeland Whirlpool Wanderlust (with a healthy dose of reality)
Day 1: Arrival & The Whirlpool Whisper
- 14:00 - The Great Dutch Drive-In (and the Parking Panic): Okay, first things first. The drive. It always takes longer than you think. Traffic in the Randstad is hell, and even if you're a seasoned Dutch driver (which I’m not, let’s be honest) you’ll still end up with the same level of road rage, and a little bit of wrong turns. Finding the holiday home in Colijnsplaat shouldn’t be too hard, but parking? Ugh. Always a gamble. Pray for space. And pray you can understand the host's directions through the thick, heavy Zeeland dialect – it sounds like a Viking funeral dirge mixed with a seagull convention.
- 15:00 - Unpacking and Unveiling the Whirlpool (and the Expectations): The keys are handed over, and we're in! Let the vacation commence! Now, the important bit: The whirlpool. The reason we're here. Anticipation is high. It's like unwrapping a really, really expensive Christmas present that promised eternal bliss. We immediately inspect it, poking, prodding, and muttering things like, "Is it really as big as the pictures?" and "Is it, dare I say… clean?"
- 16:00 - Snack Squeak and Surroundings (The Supermarket Sweep): We're starving, and apparently, the Dutch like to eat very early, or perhaps just like to eat constantly. Time for a quick nip to the local supermarket. Pro Tip: Don't go in hungry. You'll buy everything. Expect a selection of exotic cheeses, weirdly-shaped biscuits, and a desperate search for familiar snacks. This time, it's "Stroopwafels, or bust."
- 17:00 - Back to the House & Whirlpool Launch (and the First Misstep): Finally home again, time for the main event. Bubble bath bombs are added. But, what's this? The instructions are in… Dutch. Of course. After a frantic Google Translate session, and a few desperate button presses, success! Or so we think. The jets start up, with a somewhat disappointing amount of bubbles. And… is that a damp, mildew-y smell I detect? Oh.
Day 2: Zeeland Wonders and Coastal Conundrums
- 09:00 - Breakfast and the Great Coffee Catastrophe: I'm not a morning person, but I am a coffee addict. The coffee machine, a relic of the 80s, decides to die. A true tragedy. We are forced to make instant coffee, a crime against humanity in my opinion. This is not the start to the day I envisioned.
- 10:00 - The Bike Ride of Doom (and Unexpected Delights): Zeeland is flat. Perfect for biking. Or so they say. My bike, rented from the local shop, has a saddle that's been clearly designed by Satan. We set off, wind in our hair (or what's left of it), and soon realize that the wind in Zeeland is not to be trifled with. It's a relentless, howling beast. We navigate picturesque dykes, quaint villages, and the constant threat of being blown into a ditch by a rogue gust. Eventually, we come across a tiny, hidden cafe with the sweetest apple pie. All is forgiven!
- 13:00 - Lunchtime and Seaside Sardines (the Restaurant Roulette): Finding a decent restaurant that isn't aimed squarely at tourists is a mission. After several false starts, we stumble upon a tiny seafood shack. It’s charming, if a little… rustic. The fish is fresh, the fries are abundant, and the seagull squadron outside is eyeing our plates with unsettling intensity. I swear one winked at me.
- 15:00 - Beach Break and Existential Sunbathing: Time for the beach. It’s a stunning stretch of sand, and the waves are surprisingly wild. (It’s the North Sea, after all.) We attempt to sunbathe, but the wind is so fierce that sandblasts us at every turn. We give up in despair and contemplate life, the universe, and why we didn’t bring a stronger windbreaker.
- 17:00 - Whirlpool Round Two (with Redemption): Back to base. Time to try the whirlpool again. After a stern look at the manual (this time in English!), a thorough scrubbing (thanks, bleach!), and the acquisition of some properly fizzy bath bombs, the whirlpool finally delivers. Bliss. Pure, unadulterated, bubbly bliss. We finally understand why we are here. We drink wine and pretend we're in some glamorous magazine spread. Until the jets stop. And we remember the damp smell.
Day 3: Islands, Indecision, and the Departure Dread
09:00 - The Breakfast Brawl (and the Crumb Conspiracy): The bread. It's from the local bakery. It's divine. But the seagulls, they know too. A dedicated sentinel, armed with a broom, must be in place at all times. It's a constant battle, a war of attrition. The crumbs are the enemy. The seagulls are the antagonists. My sanity is the collateral damage.
10:00 - The Delta Works Dilemma: We considered visiting the iconic Delta Works - the massive storm surge barriers that protect Zeeland from the sea. Then we looked at the weather forecast. Rain. Relentless rain. So, we stay at home. Netflix and Chill.
14:00 - Last Supper, Last Dip (and the bittersweet farewell): One last meal at that charming bistro. An overpriced platter of seafood, the last of the wine, one last dip in the whirlpool. This time it purrs like a kitten. The smell is (mostly) gone. We soak it all in.
16:00 - Packing Pandemonium and the Holiday Hangover: The dreaded moment. Packing. Somehow, we always bring more than we arrived with. Last-minute panic. "Did we forget anything?" "Where's the charger?" The house, once our kingdom, is now a scene of chaos. We are suffering from "Holiday Hangover!" It's not a real thing, right?
17:00 - The "Almost Gone" Guilt Trip: Almost gone - We feel like we haven't truly seen "Zeeland". What did we miss? Should we have gone to that art gallery? The market in Goes? Oh well…. We are tired. We've seen the whirlpool.
17:30 - The Drive Home Debrief: As we leave Colijnsplaat, the car is filled with that unique mix of exhaustion, contentment, and the inevitable feeling of “We need another vacation.” We vow to return. Maybe. Eventually. And next time, we’ll definitely bring earplugs for those seagulls.
Zeeland Escape: Your Brain's Vacation, With Bubbles! (and Some Occasional Hairs)
Okay, So, Zeeland Escape ... Sounds fancy. Is it *really* worth emptying the piggy bank?
Alright, let's be honest. "Luxurious Whirlpool & Tranquil Haven" is, shall we say, accurate, but it's also a bit...marketing-y. Look, I went. I *splurged*. And the answer is... mostly yes. Here's the deal, fresh from the trenches of relaxation: The whirlpool? Epic. Like, could-live-in-it epic. But the 'tranquil haven' part? Well, it's tranquil until your partner starts snoring like a rusty chainsaw at 3 AM. (No, I'm not naming names, DEAR.)
So, yeah, it's a treat. Think of it like this: You're paying for a premium experience, a chance to *actually* switch off. And the chance to see if you can last more than five minutes in the sauna without feeling like you're being slowly roasted. Worth it? Depends if you value your sanity, and the ability to feel slightly less stressed than a stressed-out hamster on a wheel. Also, the chocolates they leave are divine.
What's the deal with the whirlpool? Is it seriously as amazing as it sounds? I have high expectations!
Okay, bucko, hold your horses. High expectations? Good. Because the whirlpool… oh, the whirlpool. It *is* amazing. Like, I’m not exaggerating. I spent a solid afternoon in it. And here's the thing: It's not just bubbles. It's jets. POWERFUL, massage-level jets. Seriously, they get into those knots your shoulders develop from staring at a screen for hours. And, yes, I fell asleep in it. Twice. Which, admittedly, is a little embarrassing, but also testament to its power.
The water was clean (thank goodness!), the temperature perfect, and the view… well, it's a view. Of countryside, you're in Colijnsplaat, the view is going to be gorgeous. I think I saw a cow. A very contented cow. I was jealous. The only downside? You inevitably find a stray hair or two floating around. It’s inevitable, people. Just…try not to think about it. Focus on the jets. Focus on the bliss.
Side note: Bring a drink. Or three. Hydration is key. And the snacks...oh the snacks... (more on those later, you betcha!)
I'm a total klutz. Are there any hazards I should be aware of? (Besides the potential for a soggy phone.)
Oh, honey, you and me both. I'm practically fueled by tripping over air. Hazards? Let's see...slippery floors, obviously. They provide mats. USE THEM. Also, the temperature can fluctuate a bit. So, watch out. The sauna can hit you suddenly. And let's not forget the biggest hazard of all: The temptation to eat all those delicious chocolates in one go. I almost succumbed. Almost. (I didn't. I shared. Mostly.)
The other hazard is the sheer ability to *disappear*. Your phone gets left somewhere. Your worries dissolve. You're so blissed out in a bathrobe, it's easy to lose track of time. Which, honestly, is the best kind of hazard. Just make sure someone knows where you are. Or, you know, don't. Live dangerously.
What about the "tranquil haven" part? Is the decor all white and minimalist? Will I feel judged for not being Zen enough?
Okay, so the style is… definitely not my usual riot-of-colour-and-pattern aesthetic. It's clean. It's calming. It leans towards the minimalist side. But don't worry, it's not sterile. It's more like a cozy, well-designed Scandi-chic. Think: warm wood, soft lighting, and no-nonsense comfort. I was half expecting a yoga retreat - I am the least qualified for yoga. But nope, just pure chill.
And as for the "Zen" thing… Look, I'm not a Zen master. I'm more of a chaotic energy ball with a penchant for snacks. And I felt perfectly fine. They don't judge. They just want you to relax. The only judgement you'll face is from yourself, when you realize you've spent an entire afternoon in a bathrobe, watching…well, I won't spoil it. But it might involve a certain reality show...
Food! What's the food situation like? Are we talking granola and green smoothies, or are there actual treats? (Asking for a friend...ahem.)
Oh, the food. Now we're talking. Forget the green smoothies, my friend! (Well, maybe there *is* a green smoothie option, I didn't look that hard). There are *actual treats*. First of all, the complimentary chocolates upon arrival were heavenly - dark chocolate, with a hint of sea salt. *chef's kiss* . They left a small bottle of prosecco - fantastic!
The kitchen is well-equipped, which is great. You can make your own meals. Or, (and this is what I did) order in some delicious food! The local restaurants are your friends. I indulged in some local delicacies. They're not afraid of butter in these parts. And that, my friends, is a good thing. Honestly, I think I lived on cheese and bread for a good portion of the trip. No regrets!
What about the location itself? Is it easy to get to? And what's there to *do* nearby, besides soak in a tub?
Colijnsplaat. Right, so, it's beautiful. It's quaint. It's in Zeeland, which is basically Dutch paradise if you're into coastline, charming villages, and fresh seafood. Getting there… well, it depends. I drove. The drive was pretty easy, through the Dutch countryside. If you're coming from Amsterdam, it's about a 2-hour drive, which is manageable. You can also take a train and then a taxi, it could work, but I don't like public transport or taxi's - personally.
As for things to do… Okay, so, after the whirlpool, your brain might be a bit melted. But, if you're feeling ambitious, you can explore Colijnsplaat itself. It's a lovely little town with a harbor (good for walks and a nice view), some shops, and restaurants. You can cycle around! Or visit the nearby De OostersBook For Rest
