Ski-In/Ski-Out Luxury: Your Dream Abondance Apartment Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving deep into a hotel review that's less "polished brochure" and more "drunken diary entry." I've got my coffee (okay, make that third coffee) and I'm ready to get real.
The Hotel… Let's Just Call it "The Grand Muddle" (And That's Kinda the Point)
First off, let's be honest, hotels are a gamble, right? You show up, hoping for a luxurious experience, and sometimes you get… well, you get this. So, I'll try to break down this “Grand Muddle” into bite-sized chunks, hoping my brain will follow suit.
SEO & Metadata Shenanigans (Because We Have To):
- Keywords: Luxury Hotel Review, Accessible Hotel, Spa Hotel, Family-Friendly Hotel, Hotel with Pool, Free Wi-Fi, On-site Dining, Airport Transfers, Wheelchair Accessible, COVID Safety Protocols. (Gotta make sure Google knows what's up, you know?)
Accessibility: Bless Their Hearts (Mostly)
Okay, so let's start with the important stuff. Wheelchair accessibility? They say yes. And the elevator certainly reaches all the floors. Fine. On-site accessible restaurants/lounges? Hmm, that's where it gets dicey. I saw one ramp, and it looked like it might lead to the back of the dishwasher (kidding…mostly). But real talk: if you have genuine mobility issues, call ahead and grill them. Don’t just assume.
Internet Access (Free Wi-Fi: Praise Be!)
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Thank the WiFi gods! Seriously, that's a win in my book. Life is hard enough without having to pay for internet while sipping your very overpriced cocktail. The speed? Well, let's just say it's good enough to check emails. Okay fine, it's fine. Don't expect to download a movie in seconds. Internet [LAN] Did I even see a LAN port? Nope. The hotel is old-school enough to have a LAN network or ports in each room, that is quite impressive.
Things to "Do" (And Possibly Regret Later):
- Spa/Sauna/Steamroom: I love spas. I need spas. This one… well, the Sauna was hot, which is good. The Steamroom was a bit underwhelming, and the air felt drier than the desert. But the Pool with view? Yeah, that was pretty damn amazing. Infinity pool, overlooking the… let’s just say, it was scenery. Definitely a highlight.
- Fitness Center: I glanced at the Fitness center, and it looked… adequate. Treadmills, some weights, the usual suspects. But after the third cocktail, I was more interested in horizontal exercises.
- Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage: Okay, back to the spa! I splurged on a massage because… self-care, right? The masseuse was lovely, if a little too enthusiastic with the pressure. I floated out afterwards. And I'm a sucker for a foot bath
Cleanliness and Safety (The COVID Era Edition):
This is where things got interesting. They claimed to be super vigilant. Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas: all the buzzwords were there. Rooms sanitized between stays? Probably. The Hand sanitizer stations were plentiful, at least. But… and this is a big but… I did see a waiter wipe down a table with the same cloth he used to… well, you get the picture. So, yeah, take COVID protocols with a large grain of salt. Staff trained in safety protocol, I hope so because they were a little confused sometimes. Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, seems hard to gauge. Cashless payment service was very well structured. Professional-grade sanitizing services were a good sign. Individually-wrapped food options was a good sign, but you can't wrap an egg… That's the thing about the breakfast in room though…
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (Fueling the Chaos):
- Restaurants: There were Restaurants. Multiple! Asian cuisine in restaurant was the most memorable.
- Breakfast [buffet]: This was… something. A glorious, messy free-for-all. Asian breakfast, Western breakfast, and everything in between. The egg station? Chaos. But delicious chaos.
- Room service [24-hour]: Bless them, really. Hungover me, at 3 am, thanks you.
- Poolside bar: Another lifesaver. Happy hour was essential (though I may have overdone it).
Services and Conveniences (The Stuff That Makes or Breaks You):
- Concierge: Super helpful, booking tours, answering my silly questions. A genuine asset.
- Daily housekeeping: They actually did it! The room was always clean.
- Elevator: (See Accessibility).
- Food delivery: I'm a sucker for convenience. Pizza to the rescue!
- Laundry service: Used it. Efficient.
- Meeting/banquet facilities: Didn’t need them, so… no comment.
- Cash withdrawal: Definitely utilized it.
For the Kids (Not My Forte, But I'll Try):
- Family/child friendly: They claimed to be, but I didn't observe many children.
- Babysitting service: Available, which is a plus.
Getting Around (Navigating the Maze):
- Airport transfer: Book it! Worth it.
- Car park [on-site]: Plentiful.
- Taxi service: Easy to get.
Available in All Rooms (The Nitty-Gritty):
- Free Wi-Fi: Yep, already mentioned this. Praise be!
- Air conditioning: Essential
- Bathrobes: Always a win.
- Coffee/tea maker: Needed.
- Mini bar: Overpriced. But… you know.
- Blackout curtains: Bless their hearts.
- Separate shower/bathtub: Luxurious.
- Wake-up service: Reliable (mostly).
- (Important!) Non-smoking rooms Absolutely.
Quirky Observations & Emotional Reactions:
The room decor was… eclectic. A mix of modern and… well, it's hard to describe. Let's call it “Grandma’s Attic Chic.” The bed was comfy, but the pillows… the pillows could have been replaced with bricks. A little bit of me died inside every time I put my head down. I had an emotional reaction.
Finding a hair dryer was a challenge, but I figured it out eventually. Finding a window that opens was even harder, but very appreciated when looking for fresh air.
Messy Structure & Occasional Rambles:
Okay, I might have gotten lost in my thoughts there for a moment. Hotel reviews are a journey, people. Just roll with it. Some imperfections are expected.
Stronger Emotional Reactions (Good or Bad):
As I said, the spa was good - almost perfect. The pool? Heavenly. Breakfast? A chaotic masterpiece. The people were nice, and it certainly tried to be an amazing hotel. The only thing that I feel like I could have done better, and in all honesty, I wasn't in a position to complain, was the pillows on the bed.
More Opinionated Language & Natural Pacing:
Look, it wasn’t all sunshine and roses. But overall, the Grand Muddle… I mean, the hotel… was a decent experience. Would I stay again? Maybe. Depends on the price of those damn pillows.
Final Verdict:
I give this hotel a solid 7/10. Flaws? Absolutely. Charm? Definitely. Would it be my first choice for a truly luxurious experience? Probably not. Would I recommend it? Yeah, probably. But call ahead if mobility is a problem and bring your own pillows. Be prepared for a slightly chaotic, but ultimately enjoyable stay. And for the love of all that is holy, tip the bartenders.
Unbelievable Italy Escape: Belvilla's Casa Uva Monte Colombo Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercup, because this isn't your textbook travel itinerary. This is Abondance, France, through the bleary, slightly-too-early-morning eyes of yours truly. And let me tell you, luxe apartment with ski lift 1.5km away? Sounds amazing, right? It is… mostly.
Day 1: Arrival, Altitude Adjustment (and a Touch of Panic)
- Morning (9:00 AM): Arrive at Geneva Airport. Air France? More like "Air…Frustrance". Flight delayed. Again. I swear, I'm starting to think airlines specifically target me for chaos. "Oh, a woman with a penchant for losing her passport at the last minute? Let's give her a three-hour layover in a terminal that smells vaguely of stale croissants and existential dread!" Anyway, finally, we touch down. Exhausted. Hungry. And already anticipating the potential for disaster.
- Morning (10:00 AM): Rental car pickup. Pray to the car gods it's not a manual. (It is.) My French is rusty – more like cobweb-covered – so this should be fun. The car salesman? He looked like he’d seen things… things involving more snow than I’m comfortable with. He grunted. I think I got the car.
- Midday (11:30 AM): The Drive. Okay, scenic route to Abondance, they said. Winding mountain roads, they said. Thrilling, they said. They left out the part about the dizzying switchbacks and my near-death experience with a rogue snowplow. Seriously, I'm pretty sure I saw a Saint Bernard eyeing me up for lunch.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): Arrive at the Luxurious Apartment. It is… luxurious. And enormous. And I’m immediately struck by the sheer responsibility of keeping it this pristine. The view? Jaw-dropping. The balcony? Perfect for contemplating the meaning of life (or at least, finding the bag of crisps I desperately need).
- Afternoon (2:30 PM): Grocery run. Local supermarket. Trying my best to navigate the French cheese situation. It's a minefield, people! So many cheeses, so few French words at my disposal. I ended up buying a cheese that looked suspiciously like a baby's shoe. Delicious, though. Trust me.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM): Unpacking, settling in, admiring the view one last time. A glass of the local wine to celebrate the victory of arriving in one piece. The wine? Excellent. The feeling of "being in paradise"? Priceless.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Dinner at the apartment. Attempting to cook. The "baby shoe" cheese made an appearance. The pasta? Slightly al dente (read: crunchy). The wine? More of it. My cooking skills are a work in progress. My stomach, however, is very much in progress.
- Evening (9:00 PM): Crash. Sleep. Glorious, blissful, sleep. The altitude still feels like it’s playing tricks on me, though.
Day 2: Embracing the Slope (and the Potential for Utter Humiliation)
- Morning (8:00 AM): Wake up. Stiff. Sore. And, surprisingly, excited. The ski lift! Almost there!
- Morning (9:00 AM): Gear rental. The ski shop guy is a cheerful, overly-enthusiastic Frenchman. He keeps correcting my pronunciation of "ski" ("Skee, madame, skee!"). I'm pretty sure I’ve offended him already with my beginner level.
- Morning (10:00 AM): Hit the slopes. Here we go! I'm channeling my inner Olympian… which is currently shaped like a small, wobbly penguin. First run? Disaster. Flat on my face within seconds. Laughing so hard I could barely get up.
- Midday (12:00 PM): Lunch at the ski lodge. Hearty French food. I ate enough cheese, sausage, and bread to sustain me for a week. The sun is shining. The view is incredible. And I'm starting to get the hang of this skiing thing. Maybe. Sort of. Mostly.
- Afternoon (1:30 PM): More skiing. More falls. But fewer of them, surprisingly. Something clicked.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM): Après-ski. Hot chocolate, fireplace, and a deep sense of accomplishment (mixed with aching muscles). The world seems pretty good.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Another attempt at cooking. Tonight’s cheese choice? Something called Bleu d’Auvergne. Send help. Also, I’m pretty sure I now have a permanent cheese aroma attached to my person.
- Evening (9:00 PM): Collapse. Repeat.
Day 3: The Great Snow Adventure (and the Day I Thought I'd Die… from Laughter)
- Morning (9:00 AM): Decided to brave a slightly steeper slope today. That’s when the fun started.
- Morning (9:45 AM): The first bit went fine, felt very smug, thought I was taking to skiing like a duck to water.
- Morning (9:50 AM): Wrong. Suddenly, I'm going faster than a caffeinated cheetah down a slippery slide. Arms flailing. Legs flailing. Screaming in what I thought was French, but was probably just a series of panicked noises.
- Morning (9:55 AM): The inevitable crash. But, oh, this wasn't just your run-of-the-mill faceplant. This was a full-blown, spectacular, limbs-everywhere, snow-in-every-orifice kind of wipeout.
- Morning (10:00 AM+): I have NEVER laughed so hard in my life. When I finally managed to stop sliding and disentangle myself from the snow, my skis were pointing in opposite directions, my goggles were now a part of my face, and I started laughing uncontrollably. I’M PRETTY SURE I saw a child point at me, and start to laugh. His parent looked mortified. I laughed harder.
- Midday (12:00 PM): Back to the lodge, still giggling. I couldn't even describe what happened, all I could do was point and start laughing again.
- Afternoon (1:30 PM): More skiing, but at a much slower, more cautious pace. I can honestly say that skiing is a metaphor for life: you’re going to fall, you’re going to look ridiculous, and then you’re going to laugh until your sides hurt.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM): Après-ski. The usual. The comfort. The feeling of being content, yet slightly bruised.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Dinner at a local restaurant. More cheese. More wine. More laughter. The French couple sitting next to me look at me like I’m utterly insane. I don’t care.
- Evening (9:00 PM): Bed. Dream of snow, laughter, and a life that's sometimes messy, often ridiculous, and always worth it.
Day 4 and 5 : Departure Prep and Bye Bye Abondance
- Morning (9:00 AM): packing, washing, final views.
- Midday (12:00 PM): Lunch at the apartment.
- Afternoon (1:30 PM): The drive back!
- Evening (7:00 PM): Goodbye Cheese. Goodbye Abondance.
- Evening (9:00 PM): Airplane.
- Evening (9:00 PM): Jet lag. I love travel.
Final Thoughts:
Abondance, France, you magnificent, cheese-filled, snow-covered siren. You’ve humbled me, challenged me, given me a workout I didn't ask for, and, most importantly, made me laugh until my stomach hurt. Yes, there were mishaps; you're going to fall, your going to look ridiculous, and you're going to laugh your socks off. And that, my friends, is the true luxury. And the memory of some baby shoe cheese. I will never look at a cheese display the same way again.
Escape to Paradise: Your Luxurious Stavelot Spa Chalet Awaits!
So, what *IS* this whole "life" thing, anyway? Seriously, I’m asking for a friend… who's me.
Ugh, if I knew *that*, I’d be on a beach sipping something fruity, not hunched over a keyboard. But, okay, okay… from my totally unqualified, experience-based perspective: it's a wild, unpredictable ride. One minute you’re soaring, the next you’re face-planting into existential dread. It's like a never-ending improv show where you don't get the script. And believe me, I've improvised some doozies. Remember that time I tried to make a soufflé? Disaster. Utter, glorious, eggy disaster. Life, in a nutshell, is a slightly burnt, but still delicious, soufflé. You'll mess up. You'll cry. You'll laugh so hard you snort. It's the whole shebang.
How do I deal with… *gestures vaguely* all of it? Like, the bills, the people, the existential dread?
Okay, real talk. You don't "deal" with it. You *muddle* through. And that's okay! Perfection is a myth. I'm pretty sure the universe is actively trying to trip you up. My strategy? A mix of embracing the chaos and finding little pockets of joy. For example, I'm currently surviving on questionable amounts of coffee and the faint hope that my cat will cuddle me later. And sometimes, just sometimes, a really good cry helps. Embrace the mess. It's where the good stuff lives. Also, learn to say "no." Seriously. That's a game-changer. Still working on mastering that one myself though. Ask my overflowing to-do list.
What's the best piece of advice you’ve ever gotten? (Besides “Don’t eat yellow snow.”)
Hmm. This is a tough one. I’ve gotten so much bad advice, it’s hard to sift through the wreckage. But the best, the one that actually stuck? "Comparison is the thief of joy." My grandma, bless her cotton socks, used to say that. And it’s THE truth. Especially in this age of perfectly filtered Instagram feeds. I spent so much time comparing myself to other people, I was basically a joy-vampire. Now? I try (key word: try) to focus on *my* journey. On *my* messy, beautiful, wonderfully imperfect life. It's a work in progress. I still scroll sometimes. We all do. But now I try to remember Grandma's words. And maybe have a cookie. Cookies help.
Relationships! Ugh. Love, friendship, family… How do I even? (Send help.)
Oh, relationships. The source of the greatest joys and the deepest sorrows. I swear, they should come with a warning label: "May cause heartbreak, tears, and an excessive need for ice cream." The key? Communication (gag), boundaries (double gag), and... a healthy dose of forgiveness. That's the theory, anyway. In practice? It's like herding cats. I've muddled through friendships where we grew apart but still have affection for each other, family dynamics that sometimes make me want to crawl under a rock (but I love them!), and romantic relationships... Well, let's just say I've got a *lot* of stories. The point is, they're hard work. But they’re also worth it. Even the disastrous ones teach you something. Or give you great material for future rants, as is the case for me.
What about work? Finding a "purpose?" Is that even a thing? Should I actually *like* my job?
Purpose? That's a big one, isn't it? Look, I'm still figuring that out. I suspect it changes. One year I was obsessed with becoming a veterinarian. Another, a rock star. Current purpose? Surviving Mondays. Should you *like* your job? Ideally, yes! But the reality is often... not. I've had jobs I loved, jobs I hated, and jobs that were just… jobs. The important thing is to find something that at least doesn't make you miserable, and ideally, pays the bills. If you can find something fulfilling? Bonus! But don't feel pressured to find your "passion" immediately. It's okay to just... work. And maybe, just maybe, build a side hustle that makes you feel something, anything, other than soul-crushing boredom. (Currently trying to perfect the art of napping during conference calls.)
Okay, fine. But what if I'm just… *stuck*? In a rut? Feeling lost?
Oh, honey, we've *all* been there. That feeling of being adrift, of not knowing where to go or what to do... It's awful. And it's okay. Seriously. It’s a sign your soul needs a little reboot. My advice? Try something new. Anything! Learn to knit. Take a pottery class (I did! I made a lopsided mug – it was awesome!). Go for a walk in a place you've never been before. Read a book outside your usual comfort zone. Talk to a stranger. Sometimes, just shaking things up, even in a small way, can help jolt you out of it. Also? Don't be afraid to ask for help. Talk to a friend, a therapist, a barista who seems like they have their life together (they probably don't, but worth a shot). Most importantly, be kind to yourself. It's a process. And it's okay to not be okay, sometimes. Remember what happened to my soufflé? Sometimes that's all you get and its not bad.
What are some fun things to do when you feel down?
Everyone has those times you feel a little down and need something to pick you up. Here are my go-to actions when feeling a little bit blue:
- Watch a really stupid comedy: I'm not talking about anything intellectual. I'm talking about the kind of movie you can watch while your brain is on holiday. "Ace Ventura," anyone?
- Eat something delicious: Comfort food is a must. Make something, order something, doesn't matter. Just eat the pie, eat the donut, eat your heart away.
- Spend time with people you love: No need to be a crowd, just the people you care about that love you back. Doesn't have to be a long time, just some time.
- Take a nap: Always.
- Make plans for theHotel Search TipsLuxurious apartment with ski lift 1.5 km away. Abondance FranceLuxurious apartment with ski lift 1.5 km away. Abondance France
