Escape to Paradise: Luxurious Chalet Near Malmedy, Belgium!
Escape to Paradise: Did it REALLY live up to the hype? (A Brutally Honest Chalet Rant)
Okay, so "Escape to Paradise" sounds a bit… optimistic, doesn't it? I mean, Belgium? Paradise? Let's just say my expectations were cautiously tempered, especially after booking this luxurious chalet near Malmedy. But hey, a girl can dream of a spa day, right? And that's where this little adventure begins…
Accessibility: Rolling with the Punches (Almost)
Right off the bat, let's address the elephant in the room: accessibility. While the listing mentions facilities for disabled guests, I wouldn't go shouting from the rooftops about it. There's an elevator, thank goodness, but navigating the chalet felt like a bit of a treasure hunt. It wasn't cripplingly difficult, mind you, but definitely not the seamless, "built for ultimate ease" experience promised. I'd give it a solid 3 out of 5 stars for effort. More specific details on ramps and pathways would make it truly accessible.
Cleanliness and the Covid Chaos: Sanitized to the Max (Maybe a Little Too Much?)
Oh boy, the COVID protocols. They took this seriously. I mean, seriously. Every single corner felt like it had been blitzed with something that could probably melt a small planet. The "anti-viral cleaning products" and "professional-grade sanitizing services" were on full display. The constant hand sanitizer stations started to feel a bit… oppressive, to be honest. While I appreciate the safety, it almost felt like they were too cautious. I'm all for cleanliness, but maybe ease off the "sterilizing equipment" a little? I guess they're erring on the side of caution, and that's a good thing. But still… 4 out of 5 stars because of the slight overkill, which could make some feel a bit claustrophobic.
Oh, Those Little Extras: Amenities Abound!… Kinda.
Alright, the list of amenities is long. Like, ridiculously long. Let's break it down, shall we?
Internet, Internet, Everywhere!: 5/5 stars. Wi-Fi was fast and free in every single corner. The "Internet access [LAN]" thing? Who even uses LAN cables anymore? Still, it was there. Props. Seriously.
Dining, Drinking & Snacking: Good lord, where do I begin? They promise the world here.
- Restaurants, Restaurants, Everywhere!: "A la carte," "Buffet," "Vegetarian Restaurant," "Asian cuisine in restaurant," the list goes on. Yeah…well, it's more like one restaurant, offering a slightly confused menu. The "Asian cuisine" was… let's call it "Belgian-inspired." The buffet was decent, not mind-blowing. The "desserts in restaurant" were a bit… sad. My rating? 3 out of 5 stars for ambitious promises vs. actual delivery.
- The Poolside Bar: The pool (more on that later) was beautiful, but the bar…empty, the first day. the second day I noticed, after 3.30pm, empty again. It's a shame the service wasn't particularly available. 2 out of 5 stars.
Ways to Relax (The Good Stuff!): THIS is where the chalet almost redeemed itself.
- The Spa: The spa… swoons. Okay, the "pool with a view" was gorgeous, overlooking the rolling hills. The sauna, steam room, AND the spa itself – well, worth the price of admission. I got a massage that melted away any pre-existing stress I had about this review. The "foot bath" was a welcome treat. I spent a solid 3 hours in the spa. This alone almost made it paradise. 5 out of 5 stars, spa wins all!
- The Fitness Center: Yes, they had a gym. I glanced at it. Didn't go in.
- The "Body Scrub/Wrap": I didn't try it. I was too busy at the spa.
Things to Do (Beyond Lounging): Um, hiking. The location is surrounded by beautiful nature, so if you like a good walk, you're in luck. No exciting activities are actually arranged within the resort, so it really is a place to chill.
Services and Conveniences: A Mixed Bag:
- 24-hour Room Service: Never needed.
- Car Park [Free of Charge]: Yes. Thank goodness.
- Air Conditioning in public area: Great.
- Laundry/Dry Cleaning: Fine, but pricey.
- The "Cashless payment service": They're totally embracing the future, or maybe just avoiding handling cash.
- "Daily Housekeeping": Spotlessly clean rooms.
- Facilities for disabled guests: See "Accessibility" above.
- "Meeting/banquet facilities": Didn't participate.
- "Business facilities": No one was there for business.
For the Kids: Didn't see many kids.
Getting Around: Unless you're happy to walk endlessly, a car is essential. The "Airport Transfer" is a fancy option.
My Room - A Haven (With Minor Quirks)
The room itself? Pretty damn good. The "extra-long bed" was a godsend. The "blackout curtains" were PERFECT for sleeping off a day of spa-ing. The "complimentary tea" felt like a nice touch. The "in-room safe" gave me peace of mind, even though I'm not sure why I felt a need for it. And the "free Wi-Fi" was a lifesaver.
Here's the real kicker, though: the "bathtub" was glorious. Like, deep, luxurious, could-probably-fit-a-small-family glorious. However, I’m not sure it’s the most accessible thing in the world, but who’s complaining with a bathtub like that? The Pool - A Tale of Two Visits
Alright, let's talk about the outdoor pool. The first day, it was…empty. A bit disappointing, but maybe a fluke. The second day? Bliss. The pool itself is pretty stunning. The view is divine. I spent hours just floating around, feeling utterly relaxed, with very few people around. 4.5 out of 5 stars.
Final Verdict: Escape to… Mostly Pleasantville?
So, did "Escape to Paradise" live up to its name? Not entirely. It had its moments of brilliance, especially the spa and the comfy beds. But the restaurant was a bit of a letdown, and the promises of "luxury" didn't quite align with the reality of some of its offerings. However, I should be fair. If you're looking for a quiet getaway, with a great spa, and you're prepared to drive for decent food, this place could be a winner. Ultimately, a good, not outstanding, experience with a major highlight that saved it from a scathing review.
Overall, I'd give it a solid 3.5 stars out of 5. Worth a visit? Maybe, if you're prepared to temper your expectations slightly, and you're definitely looking for a spa-centric experience.
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Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're ditching the pristine travel agency brochure and heading straight into the glorious, messy, and wonderfully unpredictable reality of my "Chalet near Malmedy" adventure. Think less "smooth sailing" and more "slightly seasick sailor clinging to a life raft made of Belgian waffles."
The "Plan," More Like a Suggestion… (Malmedy Chalet Chaos)
Day 1: Arrival (and the Great Luggage Debacle)
- Morning (7:00 AM -ish - aka 'eventually'): Wake up. Stumble out of bed. Groan. That's the general gist. The train to Brussels? Let's just say I'm grateful for the invention of noise-canceling headphones. Pro tip: avoid eating the "mystery sandwich" on the train. Trust me.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM -ish): Brussels! Finally. After a near-miss with a rogue suitcase that looked suspiciously like it wanted to escape without me. Brussels Central Station. Gorgeous, chaotic, and smells vaguely of frites. Took a taxi to the pick up the rental car. We went for the automatic stick shift because it was what we could get. Wish me luck navigating the Belgian roads…
- Late Afternoon (4:00 PM - ish): Okay, roads are smaller than I anticipated. And the roundabouts? Nightmare fuel. But! We made it. The rental car is still in one piece. And the GPS, bless its little digital soul, is guiding us.
- Evening (6:00 PM -ish): Arrive at the chalet! Cue angels singing! (Or maybe that's just me sighing with relief). The place is charming. Exactly as advertised. Except… where's the key? Panic sets in. Then, after a frantic search through EVERY bag, I find it. Right where I put it. (Apparently, I'm a packing genius. Sometimes). Unpack in a blur of unpacking, putting away food, and falling in love with the view from the garden. Seriously. The view. I could just sit here and soak it in all day.
- Night (8:00 PM -ish): First dinner! Made a pot of pasta bolognese. It's not gourmet, but after a long day? Perfection. Opened a bottle of Belgian beer. Perfection. Realized I forgot the corkscrew. Used a butter knife. Slight imperfection, but whatever. Eating on the patio as the sun goes down. Listening to the woods surrounding the chalet. Holy cow, this is good.
Day 2: Exploring Malmedy (and the Chocolate Obsession Begins)
- Morning (9:00 AM -ish): Slept in! Glorious. Woke up feeling like I could conquer the world. Or at least conquer breakfast. Coffee, croissants (because Belgium), and the sun streaming through the window. It's the little things.
- Late Morning (11:00 AM -ish): Head into Malmedy! It's a cute little town. Cobblestone streets, a beautiful cathedral, and the aroma of chocolate wafting from every corner. This is going to be a problem. Spent an hour wandering, getting happily lost, and snapping pictures of anything and everything.
- Lunch (1:00 PM -ish): Found a cozy little brasserie that had a menu in French. Looked at the menu and just looked at the waiter and said "Give me what you'd recommend". Ended up with a hearty, delicious soup and a sandwich that was pure heaven. The waiter? Charming, even when I butchered my French.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM -ish): Okay, the chocolate. Can't avoid it any longer. Found a chocolatier that looked promising. The one that had the most elaborate display case. Bought a box of assorted chocolates. Ate at least half of them before leaving the shop. No regrets. Bought more. Ate more. Send help.
- Late Afternoon (5:00 PM -ish): The sun is starting to set. I decided to take a drive through the countryside. The rolling hills, the forests… It's breathtaking. Even if I did almost drive into a cow. (Sorry, cow.)
- Evening (7:00 PM -ish): Stumbled upon a local fête (festival) in a nearby village. The air was filled with music, laughter, and the scent of grilling sausages. Ate a sausage. It was wonderful. Drank a local beer. Maybe a few more… Danced with a random Belgian family. This trip is quickly becoming a blur of joy, food, and questionable dance moves.
Day 3: High-Altitude Adventures (and the Weather's Sense of Humor)
- Morning (8:00 AM -ish): Plans to go hiking in the High Fens! Got up early, packed a picnic, and drove for what seemed like forever.
- Late Morning (10:00 AM -ish): Started hiking. Got lost (again. This is becoming a theme). The scenery? Gorgeous! The weather?… Let's just say it was a bit unpredictable. One minute sunshine, the next, torrential downpour. Ended up huddled under a tree, eating soggy sandwiches, and laughing hysterically.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM -ish): Recovered (somewhat) from the soggy hiking experience. Saw this amazing castle and decided to visit it.
- Late Afternoon (3:00 PM -ish): Returned to the chalet. Soaked in a hot tub. This is living.
- Evening (7:00 PM -ish): Made a fire in the fireplace. Read. Relaxed. Fell asleep about halfway through the book. Woke up at 2 am. Went back to sleep.
Day 4: Spa Day(s) and The Biggest Surprise
- Morning (9:00 AM): Today is all about relaxing. Booked a spa day at a place nearby that had amazing reviews.
- Late Morning/Afternoon (11:00 AM-4:00 PM): The spa. It was incredible. Massages, saunas, pools…pure bliss. I came out feeling like a new person. In fact, I think I might have accidentally fallen completely asleep for a few hours during the facial. Oops.
- Late Afternoon (5:00 PM): Wandered the surrounding area of the spa. Found the best waffles ever! Covered in cream and strawberries.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Went to the village nearby. Saw more festivities.
- Night (9:00 PM): I sat out on the patio of the chalet, enjoying the quiet. Thinking about all the things I now know about myself. Feeling grateful.
Day 5: Departure (and the Bitter Sweet Goodbye)
- Morning (8:00 AM -ish): Wake up. Pack. The dreaded task.
- Late Morning (10:00 AM -ish): A final walk around the chalet, taking in the view one last time. Feeling a pang of sadness. I hate goodbyes. But a road trip is waiting to happen back home.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM -ish): Drop off the rental car. The car is in one piece. Victory!
- Evening (6:00 PM -ish): Train to Brussels, taxi and then a flight home. Said goodbye to the country that welcomed me so well. The best of all worlds and experiences.
Post-Trip Ramblings:
Okay, so the "plan" was more like a suggestion, I'll admit it. There were moments of frustration, moments of utter bliss, and a LOT of chocolate. The roads tried to defeat me. The weather played games. But in the end, this messy, imperfect, and completely human adventure in a chalet near Malmedy? Absolutely perfect. Would I go back? In a heartbeat. Next time, I'll be bringing a bigger suitcase… and maybe a whole box of corkscrews. And definitely more chocolate. ;)
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Escape to Paradise: Malmedy Chalet - The REAL FAQs
Okay, so… is this place REALLY "luxurious?" 'Cause, let's be honest, marketing is a LIE.
Alright, buckle up, because I'm about to get *honest*. "Luxurious" is, like, a spectrum, right? Think of it like a beige-colored scale. This chalet? It’s pushing towards cream, maybe even a light champagne. It's not Versailles, okay? But, seriously? It’s damn good. The beds? Cloud-like. The fireplace? Cozy enough that you actually *want* to sit and stare at it for hours, which I absolutely, positively *did*. There are some minor imperfections, like a slightly wonky showerhead that, on the first morning, decided to spray water in a truly artistic, yet mostly unwelcome, arc. But, hey, it was part of the charm! Okay, fine, it was mildly annoying, but the hot tub after made up for everything, so... cream-colored scale. Definitely closer to the good end.
What’s the deal with the location? “Near Malmedy” is vague. Am I going to be lost in the middle of nowhere? And… are there actually shops?
NEAR Malmedy is... well, it’s near Malmedy! Think… a short, scenic drive. Which, honestly, I really enjoyed - the drive itself was part of the charm of the trip. (Especially after I finally figured out the seat warmers. Turns out, they’re *amazing*.) You're not going to be living in the wilderness, don't worry. You're close enough to Malmedy to stock up on all the good stuff – chocolate, bread, *wine*. YES. Shops, restaurants, the whole shebang. It's not an easy grocery store run, but you survive. The chalet itself felt extremely private, though. One morning, a deer casually strolled past the window. A deer! I nearly choked on my coffee! So, yeah, wilderness-adjacent. Definitely a good balance. Plus, the drive there? Beautiful. Even my perpetually-grumpy-about-everything partner, who whined the *entire* way there, shut up and stared at the view for, like, a whole five minutes. Miracles do happen.
The hot tub! What's it *really* like? Is it clean? Is it… working?
THE HOT TUB. Okay. Let's dive in. pun absolutely intended So, the hot tub. I spent, oh, a solid two hours in that blessed sanctuary. It was *heaven*. Seriously. Bubbles blasting, stars twinkling overhead. It was clean. *Surprisingly* clean. Like, sparkling clean. My inner germaphobe (who is, let's be honest, a pretty loud voice in my head) gave it the thumbs up. And yes, it was working. Perfectly. The temperature was just right - not too hot, not too cold, but *juuust* right for sinking into a semi-conscious state of pure bliss. Look, I’m not going to say it solved all my problems (it didn't, I'm still a mess), but that hot tub erased, at least temporarily, all the annoyances of life. Definitely get yourself in there. The only downside? Having to *eventually* get out. That was a struggle.
Is there a kitchen and, if so, is it actually usable, or is it just for show? I am bad at cooking
Yes! There IS a kitchen. And it's actually... surprisingly well-equipped. More than usable, even. It's not a chef's kitchen, mind you. I’m not a chef, in case it wasn’t clear. BUT! It had all the essentials. And, yes, I did manage to butcher a loaf of bread and burn some sausages (who knew sausages could be so stubbornly charred?) But, that's on *me*. The kitchen, it’s fine. I'd say good. Very good for making simple meals. If you're planning on doing anything more advanced than microwaving, just bring some supplies and a sense of humor. The coffee machine? Gold. Absolutely, positively gold. Okay, fine, the oven took me a good 20 minutes to figure out, but I got there eventually. Food is nice.
What about the Wi-Fi? Because, let's be honest, no Wi-Fi is a dealbreaker for some of us. Is it reliable?
Okay, Wi-Fi. This is important. For me, it was absolutely vital. Look, I wanted to disconnect, sure. But also, I'm addicted to the internet. Good news! The Wi-Fi was pretty solid. Not blazing fast, let's not get ahead of ourselves, but reliable enough to stream some bad reality television. That’s my litmus test. It passed. There were a couple of blips, a slightly annoying moment where I tried to upload a photo of the deer and failed, but that’s about it. You'll be able to do your work, check email, and, most importantly, post pictures to Instagram to irritate everyone you know back home. So the wi-fi is good, but also, try to put your phone down and look at the deer. Just sayin'.
Anything I should *really* be prepared for? Any hidden downsides, or… things the brochure conveniently leaves out?
Alright, the unvarnished truth time. Okay, so, things the brochure *might* leave out. Let's get this out there. The road leading up to the chalet is a *little* narrow. Like, "hold your breath and hope you don't meet another car" narrow. I may or may not have encountered a small, fluffy dog that nearly gave me a heart attack. Make sure you have good driving skills, or at least a good sense of humor about potential near-death experiences. Also, the stairs. Lots of Stairs. If you have mobility issues, might want to think twice. And finally… Prepare for relaxation. You'll be surprised how difficult that can be. It was for me. It took about a day and a half to fully switch off, but by the end, I was a puddle of happy human.
So, would you recommend this place? Be honest!
Would I recommend it? Absolutely. YES. 100%. Despite the wonky showerhead, the scary road, the stairs, and the fact that I may have slightly over-indulged in the wine. The Malmedy chalet? It was genuinely lovely. A proper escape. Even the grumpy partner, who by the end, actually *smiled*. Okay, I'm gushing now. Go! Just go. And take me with you next time, okay? Please? I need another hot tub session.
