Escape to Paradise: Your Own Private Pool in Stunning Sachsenburg, Austria!
Escape to Paradise? More Like… Escaping Reality (and Lovin' It!) - A Sachsenburg, Austria Review
Okay, folks, buckle up, because I just got back from Sachsenburg, Austria, and let me tell you, “Escape to Paradise” (or whatever fancy name they slapped on it) is a journey. Is it paradise? Well…it's a damn good attempt at it. And, honestly, after the year we've all had, that's what matters, right? Let's dive in, shall we? And oh boy, are we diving in…
(First things first: The Basics - Yawn, But Necessary)
We're looking at a hotel, alright? A hotel trying very, very hard. And the first thing I wanna say is, accessibility: YES. They've definitely thought about it. Elevators, ramps, the whole shebang. And for me, that's a HUGE win right off the bat. Good job, team. The front desk (24-hour) is a lifesaver, especially after a long flight. And, let me tell you, after trying to explain anything in broken German, I was super grateful for the 24-hour service! Check-in/out [express] is a godsend -- no waiting in line, just get in, get out, and get to the pool! Car park [free of charge] and car park [on-site]? Another big win. Driving in Austria is beautiful, but also, can be a pain. So, parking sorted!
**(Cleanliness & Safety - The Sanitized Life) **
Alright, now, this is where things get interesting. You know, with everything going on, safety is on everyone's minds. Well, Escape to Paradise commits. Like, hard. Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, room sanitization opt-out available (though I can't imagine choosing that!), professional-grade sanitizing services…it's practically a germaphobe’s dream come true. Staff trained in safety protocol, hand sanitizer everywhere you look… I kid you not, it's almost surreal. I mean, I walked into my room and the air smelled clean. Not like "clean-clean," but like "clean-sanitized-you-can-eat-off-the-floor-and-maybe-you-shouldn't-but-technically-you-could" clean. They even had individually-wrapped food options. And, let's be real, after the year we’ve had, that's reassuring. They remove shared stationery, and use cashless payment services, and safe setups for dining!!
(The Room - My Little Fortress of Solitude)
Okay, so, the rooms… aaah, the rooms. This is where the "escape" part really starts. They’re not just rooms, they're little cocoons of comfort. And yes, that includes air conditioning. Thank. Freaking. Goodness. Especially after that sauna experience (more on that later…). Wi-Fi [free] in the room? Check. Internet access – wireless again Check. Internet access – LAN for the nerds. Extra-long bed? YES! I'm 6'4", so this is huge. I'm talking I could actually sleep without my feet dangling off the end. (And let’s be honest, after the journey, you're gonna be shattered and need it). Blackout curtains? Thank the gods! My room had soundproofing, which was just as well because I swear I was ready to scream at anyone when I arrived (long journey). Everythign included, from bathrobes to slippers!
(Dining, Drinking & Snacking - Fueling the Escape)
Listen, food is important. Especially on vacation! And Escape to Paradise doesn't disappoint. They have restaurants (plural!), a bar, a coffee shop, and a snack bar. They do a breakfast [buffet], or you can have breakfast in room, or even a breakfast takeaway service. I went with the buffet for a while, then, I just did the room service. Sometimes you just need that breakfast in room, and just not move!!
A la carte in restaurant and buffet in restaurant are your main options.
I had my fair share of coffee/tea in restaurant, and definitely some bottle of water (gotta stay hydrated, people!).
(Things To Do - The "Relaxation" Odyssey)
Okay, now we’re talking. This is where things get really interesting. They called the hotel Escape to Paradise, the name is very accurate, and I would say, that's exactly what it is.
- Swimming pool: Oh man, the swimming pool [outdoor] with Pool with view is… chef's kiss. It's got Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna and Steamroom. The sauna was intense. They even offered a Body scrub or Body wrap. I didn't do any of those things.
(Services and Conveniences - The Little Luxuries)
They've got pretty much everything you could need. Daily housekeeping is a must-have. Concierge, dry cleaning, laundry service, so on and so forth. A gift/souvenir shop so you can buy your loved ones gifts. They also had audio-visual equipment for special events, meeting/banquet facilities, meeting stationery, you know, for the necessary evil. Business facilities in general. They offer food delivery, currency exchange, the standard stuff.
(My Emotional Takeaways - The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But the Truth)
Okay, so, after all this, here’s the thing: Escape to Paradise isn't perfect. It’s not Disneyland. It’s not going to fix all your problems. But what it is, is a genuinely thoughtful attempt at creating a relaxing, safe, and enjoyable experience. It really does "escape" you from the world.
Would I recommend it? Absolutely, yes. Especially right now. Take a deep breath. Get away from it all for a while. And yes, maybe drink too much wine by the pool. You deserve it. Enjoy, my friends. You've earned it. And that, my friends, is my (probably slightly disorganized) review.
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Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're heading to Sachsenburg, Austria, in a mobile home. Let the chaos commence!
Operation: Sachsenburg Summer Swirl - (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Porta-Potty Adjacent)
Day 1: Arrival and Existential Dread in a Box on Wheels
- 14:00: Flight from (Ugh, wherever) to (Breathe, it's happening, just find it, let's see) Klagenfurt Airport. The plane was fine, the turbulence… less so. Spent the entire flight clutching my rosary beads and whispering "Please, please, get me to beer."
- 15:30: Rental car pickup. Pray for a decent GPS, and maybe some air conditioning. Seriously, Austria in July? I'm already sweating thinking about unpacking.
- 17:00: Arrival at "Camping Sachsenburg Carinthia" – which, honestly, already sounds like a medieval torture device. The mobile home. My god. It's… compact. Tiny. Smells faintly of disinfectant and regret. I'm pretty sure I can touch all four walls without moving. Is this my life now?
- 17:30: Unpacking. This is where things get real. Why did I bring so many shoes? And why did I pack my entire library? I'm the worst. My partner, bless his heart, just kept saying "We'll make it work, dear" while looking like a man on the brink of a nervous breakdown.
- 18:30: First impressions of the campsite. It's… charming. In a "lots of kids running around screaming and the smell of sausages wafting through the air" kind of way. The pool looks inviting though, I might just need that later.
- 19:00: Groceries. Ah, the joy of shopping in a foreign country! I'm pretty sure I bought the wrong kind of mustard. And the bread… is it rye? Wheat? Who knows! It's European, therefore mysterious. But I'm determined to embrace the culinary adventure! (Or at least, find some decent beer.)
- 20:00: Dinner. Pasta. The eternal travel staple. With the "mysterious" mustard. It's… an experience.
- 21:00: Evening: The sun sets and the mountains start to appear in the distance. Ah, the scenery, the beauty of nature… Okay, I'm just kidding, it's still slightly horrifying how close everything is, especially the neighbours.
Day 2: The Pool, the Pain, and the Unforgettable Sausage Situation
- 08:00: Wake up. Or rather, crawl out of the mobile home and into the bright, glaring sun. Breakfast: Coffee and existential pondering. Why did I choose this life?
- 09:00: Pool time! YES. Finally. The water is surprisingly refreshing, and for a blissful hour, I forget about the cramped quarters and the ever-present fear of bumping into a wall. Then, the children arrive. Oh, the children. Their screams pierce the air like tiny, shrill knives.
- 11:00: A stroll around the campsite and a quick chat with our neighbour… I can only understand about half of what she says. Her husband, however, keeps staring at my shoes… It's a weird experience.
- 12:00: Lunch: Leftover pasta. The "mysterious" mustard is growing on me. Or maybe I'm just starving.
- 13:00: Day trip to something gorgeous! It was! And it was worth it. I can't remember the name. Honestly, it was a blur. But there were mountains, a lake, and a million tourists with selfie sticks.
- 16:00: Back at the campsite, where I encountered the Sausage Situation: I was grilling some sausages, (finally, something that resembles food) then, oh, the gas ran out. Just when the sausages looked perfect, just when I was starving, just when… It's alright, I can make it work.
- 18:00: Dinner. Sausages are still cooking. Maybe.
- 20:00: Evening: The stars are out! It's beautiful here, I guess. We had beers. Did I mention the neighbour? She's got a cat and the cat is my friend. It's all so normal here.
Day 3: Lakeside Lament and the Unbearable Lightness of Being (in a Tiny Box)
- 09:00: Lake day! Drive to the lake, get a spot, a chair, some suncream.
- 10:00: Lake time! It's good to be in the water.
- 13:00: Back to the campsite, time to work.
- 15:00: The light! I'm sick of it! So bright, all the time.
- 17:00: I start to miss city.
- 18:00: Dinner. Sausages are burnt. Damn it.
- 20:00: Evening: We sit in quiet. We need to get a bigger car.
Day 4: The Sachsenburg Send-Off (Maybe for the Best)
- 09:00: Pack. Pray. I actually want to leave.
- 10:00: The final walk around the campsite for some last-minute shopping.
- 12:00: Check out.
- 13:00: The car journey home. Never again!
Final Thoughts:
Look, this trip was… an experience. The mobile home was a tiny testament to my claustrophobia. The pool, a welcome respite. Austria, a land of stunning scenery and mystifying cuisine. Would I do it again? Maybe. After a healthy dose of therapy and a serious reevaluation of my life choices. But hey, at least I have some stories to tell. And memories, even if they're mostly a mix of panic, pasta, and that darned mustard.
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