Escape to Paradise: Stunning Schoorl Garden Home, Bergen, Netherlands
Escape to Paradise? Schoorl Garden Home: My Messy, Over-the-Top Bergen Review
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from a stay at the "Stunning Schoorl Garden Home" in Bergen, Netherlands, and let me tell you… it was an experience. And by “experience,” I mean a full-blown emotional rollercoaster mixed with a healthy dose of "did I actually leave my slippers in the sauna?"
Metadata & SEO (because I'm also trying to get paid for this):
- Title: Escape to Paradise: A Messy Review of Schoorl Garden Home, Bergen - Netherlands
- Keywords: Schoorl Garden Home, Bergen, Netherlands, Hotel Review, Luxury Stay, Spa, Swimming Pool, Accessibility, Wheelchair Accessible, Food Review, Dutch Hospitality, North Holland, Travel, Vacation, Spa Review, Sauna, Fitness Center, Gardens, Dutch Hotels, Bergen Attractions, Family-Friendly, Pet-Friendly (Unavailability, but noted!), Wi-Fi, Accessible Restaurants.
- Meta Description: My honest, funny, and occasionally rambling review of the Schoorl Garden Home in Bergen, Netherlands. Find out if it really lives up to the hype, from accessibility to the spa, food, and everything in between! Prepare for a bumpy ride!
Accessibility: The Initial Panic
Look, I'm not usually a nervous traveller. But pulling up to the Schoorl Garden Home, I had this immediate "Am I supposed to be here?" feeling. The photos are gorgeous, all manicured lawns and sleek lines. My actual life is less "manicured" and more "tumbleweed-fest." That said, the thought of accessibility had me sweating. They advertised wheelchair accessibility, and my expectations were… cautiously optimistic.
I was relieved!
Navigating the building was surprisingly easy. There are elevators—thank GOODNESS—and ramps where needed. The common areas were wide and bright, with plenty of space to maneuver. The staff seemed well-versed with the facilities for disabled guests. However, I got a little lost trying the on-site accessible restaurants and lounges, and it took a while to find them, and the signage could definitely be improved.
On-site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: (Again, more on restaurants later)
The restaurants… I will give a good rating. The menus had Braille versions.
Wheelchair Accessible: (See Accessibility. The whole experience was solid, but some signage might need a little help.)
Internet Access & Digital Detox (or the Lack Thereof)
Okay, let's talk Wi-Fi. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms?! You betcha! And it worked wonderfully. Speed test showed crazy figures. Now, I try to unplug on vacation, I really do. But let's be honest, after a few hours of blissful spa treatments, the urge to Snapchat my zen-like state becomes… overwhelming. Internet access, Internet [LAN], Internet services, Wi-Fi in public areas – check, check, check, check!
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: My Spiritual Journey (and the Occasional Panic Attack)
This place… it's a spa mecca. Body scrub, body wrap, fitness center, foot bath, gym/fitness, massage, pool with view, sauna, spa, spa/sauna, steamroom, swimming pool, swimming pool [outdoor]. Holy guacamole. It’s exhausting just listing all the options.
I started with a massage. Pure bliss. I could have stayed there and turned into a puddle of contentment. Then, I bravely attempted the sauna. Now, I'm not usually a sauna person. I get claustrophobic. But the promise of complete relaxation… tempted me. Do they know I have a mental state? I survived—mostly. I did, however, nearly faint (maybe the heat, maybe the sheer beauty of it all), had to stumble out, gasping for air, like a beached whale, straight into the icy outdoor pool.
The Pool with View: And the view? Stunning. I spent a glorious hour just floating, staring up at the sky. The water temperature was perfect.
Cleanliness and Safety: The Germ War is Real!
I'm a bit of a germaphobe, so the current state of things really had me worried. Anti-viral cleaning products, breakfast in room, breakfast takeaway service, cashless payment service, daily disinfection in common areas, doctor/nurse on call, first aid kit, hand sanitizer, hot water linen and laundry washing, hygiene certification, individually-wrapped food options, physical distancing of at least 1 meter, professional-grade sanitizing services, room sanitization opt-out available, rooms sanitized between stays, safe dining setup, sanitized kitchen and tableware items, shared stationery removed, staff trained in safety protocol, sterilizing equipment. They covered all of them.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: My Stomach's Adventure
Okay, let's be real: food is crucial. They have A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, bar, bottle of water, breakfast [buffet], breakfast service, buffet in restaurant, coffee/tea in restaurant, coffee shop, desserts in restaurant, happy hour, international cuisine in restaurant, poolside bar, restaurants, room service [24-hour], salad in restaurant, snack bar, soup in restaurant, vegetarian restaurant, western breakfast, western cuisine in restaurant. The buffet breakfast was decent but don't come here for an haute cuisine experience.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Make a Difference
Air conditioning in public area, audio-visual equipment for special events, business facilities, cash withdrawal, concierge, contactless check-in/out, convenience store, currency exchange, daily housekeeping, doorman, dry cleaning, elevator, essential condiments, facilities for disabled guests, food delivery, gift/souvenir shop, indoor venue for special events, invoice provided, ironing service, laundry service, luggage storage, meeting/banquet facilities, meetings, meeting stationery, on-site event hosting, outdoor venue for special events, projector/LED display, safety deposit boxes, seminars, shrine, smoking area, terrace, wi-fi for special events, xerox/fax in business center. Well, they didn't drop the ball here. Everything ran smoothly
For the Kids: Are We Having Fun Yet?
I don't have kids, so I didn't delve into this category. Babysitting service, family/child friendly, kids facilities, kids meal.
Access: The Nitty Gritty
CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, check-in/out [express], check-in/out [private], couple's room, exterior corridor, fire extinguisher, front desk [24-hour], hotel chain, non-smoking rooms, pets allowed unavailablePets allowed, proposal spot, room decorations, safety/security feature, security [24-hour], smoke alarms, soundproof rooms. All this was great.
Getting Around: From Airport to Bed (and Back Again!)
They provide a free car park [on-site].
Available in All Rooms: The Comfort Factor
Okay, let's do a quick room breakdown: Additional toilet, air conditioning, alarm clock, bathrobes, bathroom phone, bathtub, blackout curtains, carpeting, closet, coffee/tea maker, complimentary tea, daily housekeeping, desk, extra long bed, free bottled water, hair dryer, high floor, in-room safe box, interconnecting room(s) available, internet access – lan, internet access – wireless, ironing facilities, laptop workspace, linens, mini bar, mirror, non-smoking, on-demand movies, private bathroom, reading light, refrigerator, safety/security feature, satellite/cable channels, scale, seating area, separate shower/bathtub, shower, slippers, smoke detector, socket near the bed, sofa, soundproofing, telephone, toiletries, towels, umbrella, visual alarm, wake-up service, wi-fi [free], window that opens.
The room was lovely. It was spacious and clean. The beds were comfortable.
The Verdict: Worth the Escape… With a Few Caveats
The Schoorl Garden Home is beautiful, it's relaxing, and it's got a lot going for it. It's definitely an experience, and I’d recommend it, but not without a few caveats:
- Over-the-Top-ness: Be prepared for a bit of a “fancy" vibe.
- The Food: Don’t expect Michelin-star meals.
- The Spa: Definitely worth the visit, but be prepared to embrace the ahem “uncomfortable” moments.
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because here's a travel itinerary for a holiday home in Schoorl, Netherlands, with a garden in Bergen, that’s less “polished travel brochure” and more “slightly unhinged diary entry.” I’m talkin’ messy, real-life travel with all the glorious imperfections!
The Schoorl & Bergen Ramblings: A Train Wreck of Good Intentions (and Possibly Stroopwafels)
Day 1: Arrival, Awkward Greetings, and the Great Garden Gamble
- Morning (ish): The flight. Ugh, the flight. Always a gamble. Did my luggage make it? Did I pack enough socks? Did I accidentally leave the stove on? (Probably.) Landing at Schiphol, finally. Then the train to Alkmaar. Beautiful countryside, windmills, the whole deal. My inner tourist squeals. Except, you know, also worries about navigating public transport with those massive suitcases.
- Afternoon: Schoorl! Finally! Finding the holiday home is a bit of a scavenger hunt. "It's near the… the… big tree?" Helpful. Eventually, Success! The key, the door, and… the house! It looks like the pictures. Phew. (Though it has a lingering smell of… something. Maybe happiness? Or old Dutch cheese?)
- Late Afternoon: Unpacking… or at least attempting to. The garden! Promised myself I'd be one with nature. I bet the grass needs a good mow, and the roses will need some attention. Trying to figure out the lawnmower will be my first adventure. (I'm not mechanically inclined… wish me luck)
- Evening: Grocery shopping. The real fun begins. I got a shopping cart, my hands start to ache, and I have absolutely no idea what half the things on the shelves are. Dutch cheese… so much cheese! And… stroopwafels. I need them, I deserve them. A picnic in the garden. The sunset over the trees. Pure bliss. (Until I attract a swarm of mosquitos.)
Day 2: Beach Bumming (and the Great Sand Dilemma)
- Morning: Bergen aan Zee – the beach! The actual beach! The wind howls, whipping my hair into a rat's nest. The sea gulls, are huge and seem to be plotting something.
- Afternoon: I attempt to read my book, but the wind is relentless. Sand. Everywhere. In my hair, in my sandwiches, in my soul. I finally give up and join the masses staring at the waves.
- Late Afternoon: A long walk along the dunes. Thinking, breathing, the sea breeze, taking in all the beauty. Feeling free. And then… a rogue wave soaks my shoes. Sigh.
- Evening: A fish and chips place. Salty, delicious, and best eaten with your fingers. It makes your hands a bit sticky, but who cares? This isn't a Michelin-star experience, its a life experience.
Day 3: Conquering the Dunes (and Questioning My Fitness Levels)
- Morning: Cycle up the dunes, a challenge made to my knees. The scenery is stunning, though. The sun is warm, and the air is crisp. I feel like I'm on top of the world… or at least, on top of a very large sand dune.
- Afternoon: I wander through the woods near Schoorl, losing my way as usual. The smell of pine needles, the dappled sunlight, the silence – pure, unadulterated peace. Getting lost isn't the end of the world, but the fact that I am utterly, utterly directionless is starting to grate on my nerves.
- Late Afternoon: Back at the house, nursing tired legs and a slightly bruised ego. I resolve to cook something… ambitious. Or maybe just heat up a pre-made meal. My stomach is grumbling.
- Evening: A glass of wine in the garden, watching the stars. The world feels calm. Maybe I can handle this whole "being outdoorsy" thing after all. As I feel a strange sensation on my arm, I realize I'm getting bitten! (mosquitos, again!)
Day 4: Alkmaar Cheese Market – Sensory Overload (in a Good Way!)
- Morning: Alkmaar Cheese Market! The sheer chaos of it all is amazing. The cheese carriers, the haggling, the smells of… well, cheese. It's loud, it's crowded, it's utterly captivating. There are some very strong cheeses, some less strong cheeses, and then there is the "Oh my goodness I need a beer" cheese.
- Afternoon: Wandering through the canals, admiring the historic buildings. The Dutch seem to have a knack for making even their everyday structures beautiful. A boat ride, a bit touristy, I know, but worth it.
- Late Afternoon: Buying souvenirs! (Key rings, magnets, cheesy clogs – the whole shebang.) Negotiating is not my strong suit. The owner of the shop probably thinks I'm a complete idiot. I probably am.
- Evening: Dutch pancakes. Thick, fluffy, and smothered in syrup. I eat far too many. Regrets? Maybe a few. But then, more stroopwafels.
Day 5: The Garden Gamble (Round Two) and a Moment of Serenity
- Morning: Back in the garden. I finally attempt to mow the lawn, after figuring out how to start the lawnmower! It's a disaster. Choppy, uneven, and quite possibly a safety hazard. But hey, at least I tried.
- Afternoon: Reading my book in the garden, in a half-hearted attempt to relax. The wind has picked up again. Getting sand on my book. Again.
- Late Afternoon: A moment of pure serenity in the garden. The late afternoon sun, the birdsong, and the (mostly) quiet. This is what it's all about.
- Evening: Cooking! Or rather, attempting to cook. The kitchen, my nemesis. I improvise. And end up with… something edible. And more wine. Lots more wine.
Day 6: Farewell, Ferociously, and Future Fantasies
- Morning: Trying to pack. How did I accumulate so much stuff in a week? Where do I even put it all? Stress levels rising.
- Afternoon: A final walk on the beach. The sea is calling me back. Sigh. I guess I have to go home.
- Late Afternoon: The train. Amsterdam. The flight. The end. But. The memories (and the stroopwafel crumbs) linger.
- Evening: I am already plotting the next trip. Maybe next time, I will learn how to use a lawnmower, and maybe the cheese won't be so scary.
Escape to Paradise: Stunning Schoorl Garden Home - FAQ (Because Honestly, You Need This)
Okay, so... Schoorl Garden Home. Bergen. Netherlands. Sounds idyllic. Is it actually? My brain needs a break from, well, *everything*.
Idyllic? Oh, sweet Jesus, YES. But… (there's always a but, isn't there?) Look, the photos are pretty, right? Gleaming windows, manicured lawns, the whole shebang. Reality? It’s…better. Much, much better. I’m talking the kind of "kick off your shoes, pour a gigantic glass of wine, and let the world melt away" kind of better.
First off, Schoorl itself is just *gorgeous*. Think dune landscapes, winding bike paths, and air so fresh you feel like you're breathing pure oxygen. This house...it's *in* the garden. Like, THE garden is the star. More on that later. Trust me on this one. My sanity (and my dwindling supply of patience) needed this escape. I'm already plotting my return. This place isn't just somewhere to stay; it's a portal. A portal to RELAXATION.
The photos scream "garden goals." Is it *really* as spectacular as it seems? Because I’ve been burned by fake Instagram paradise before…
Okay, honesty time. Yeah, the garden is the real deal. Forget Instagram filters; this place *IS* the filter. Let's get one thing straight – I'm not a "gardening" person. I kill succulents. I'm the opposite of green-thumbed. But even *I* was blown away.
I swear, I spent a solid hour just wandering around, muttering things like "Oh my god, this is real life?" The host, bless their heart, has clearly put in some serious work (I suspect years!). There are hidden nooks, fragrant herbs, and the most ridiculously perfect little pond. I even saw a *rabbit*. A real-life, fluffy-tailed, hopping rabbit! My inner child squealed.
And get this: I took a nap *in a hammock* in the middle of the afternoon. Pure. Bliss. It wasn't perfect – I got a tiny ant bite, and the sun wasn’t *perfectly* positioned for ideal hammock-photo-op (priorities, people!), but honestly? I didn't care.
Beyond the garden, what's the house *actually* like? Is it all sleek and modern, or… comfortable? I’m not trying to live in a museum.
Comfortable. Yes. Utterly and completely comfortable. It's not a clinical, sterile, "look-but-don't-touch" kind of place. It’s a *home*. Think cozy sofas, a fireplace (which, alas, I didn't get to use because it was summer, but I WILL be back in winter!), and a kitchen that actually encourages you to cook.
Which brings me to my coffee-making debacle. The kitchen is lovely, fully equipped, all that jazz. I, however, am a disaster in the mornings. Armed with a fancy-pants coffee machine (that I clearly don't know how to use), I somehow managed to flood the entire counter. Coffee *everywhere*. It looked like a crime scene. I’m still mortified. Thankfully, the hosts are angels; they left a bag of delicious coffee beans and a helpful "coffee for dummies" instruction manual. Lesson learned. Read the manual, dummy.
Okay, but what about activities? Is it all just sitting around, looking pretty? Or are there adventures to be had? I can only stare at a pond for so long…
Oh, there’s plenty to do! Schoorl and Bergen are full of amazing things. Bikes are provided, which is essential in the Netherlands. You *must* cycle. You'll feel like a local in about 10 minutes. The dunes are a must! We spent a day getting gloriously sandy and laughing. Bergen has tons of cute shops, art galleries, and restaurants.
And here’s a tip: Find a cheese shop. Buy ALL the cheese. Eat ALL the cheese. Regret nothing. (Okay, maybe a little. My waistline is not thanking me). The beach is beautiful. The air is crisp. The sunsets are breathtaking. It’s perfect for a day trip. I hear the local restaurants have really good fries. But that coffee thing…still have nightmares.
How easy is it to get to? Is it a nightmare journey involving three trains, a donkey, and a cryptic map?
Thankfully, no donkey! Getting there is pretty straightforward. We flew into Amsterdam Schiphol Airport (AMS), which is well-connected. From there, it's a train ride to Alkmaar (charming town, by the way, famous for cheese! More cheese!) and then a short bus ride or taxi to Schoorl. The hosts provided really helpful instructions. I'm notoriously directionally challenged, and even *I* managed! (Mostly.) (There was a slight moment of panic involving a misread bus schedule, but we got there!).
Parking at the house is super easy. Wifi is good. The beds are ridiculously comfortable. They thought of everything. Honestly, even the 'boring stuff' was pleasant. Which is a miracle, really.
Alright, spill the tea. What’s the catch? Every place has flaws. Even paradise (allegedly).
Okay, okay, fine. It’s not *perfect*. I’m nitpicking here, but I did get a slightly itchy mosquito bite one evening. (That’s the price of paradise, I guess.) And maybe, just *maybe*, the lack of a dedicated wine fridge was a minor tragedy. Okay, a MAJOR tragedy. I had to... *gasp*... keep my chilled rosé in the regular refrigerator. The horror!
But honestly? Those are it. That’s all I’ve got. Even that minor annoyance faded into delicious memories. It’s that good. I'm still dreaming of that hammock...and that cheese. And maybe a dedicated wine fridge...but I'm being greedy now.
The ultimate question: Would you recommend it? Specifically, *would you* go back?
Are you kidding me? YES. AUrban Hotel Search
