Texel Sauna House: Modern Design Dream Getaway!
Texel Sauna House: Modern Design Dream Getaway… Or Was It? My Messy, Honest Review
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I just spent a week at the Texel Sauna House, that "Modern Design Dream Getaway" they’re hyping. And let me tell you, it was… well, it was something. More like a rollercoaster of serene bliss and mild existential dread. I'm still trying to unpack it all, so let's dive in, shall we?
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First Impressions & The Accessibility Angle:
The photos? Gorgeous. Bleak, minimalist chic with those clean lines that scream "Instagrammable." The reality?… More like… slightly less pristine, maybe a little more “lived-in.” Now, I specifically chose this place because of its claims of great accessibility. Accessibility, Accessibility, Accessibility! It's a big deal, you know? And while they said wheelchair accessible, and that’s HUGE, there were a few… let’s call them hiccups. The elevator? Smooth sailing, thankfully. The rooms themselves were decently spacious and easy to maneuver around, which was a massive relief because that’s a big box ticked right there! However, maneuvering around the lush gardens did require some serious arm strength. And the ramps to the pool… well, let’s just say they tested my cardio more than the fitness center. I’m throwing a "mostly accessible" on this, and I'll keep you updated if they work on their accessibility.
The Room: My Temporary Fortress (and the Occasional Fridge-Related Drama)
My room? Lovely, mostly. The "extra long bed" was, indeed, gloriously long, which I appreciated, because I’m tall enough to play basketball. The "blackout curtains?" Chef's kiss. Pure, blissful darkness for those precious extra hours of sleep. The "free bottled water" was, shall we say, essential. And the shower? Glorious. Separate shower/bathtub was much appreciated. Now, the "mini bar" was… let's say it was a mystery tour. Some days it was stocked, some days it wasn't. One day, I opened the fridge, and a single, forlorn bottle of sparkling water glared back at me, like it was judging my existence. It felt intensely personal. (And yes, I did check the "complimentary tea" situation and gave it an enthusiastic thumbs up. British person, so I have to!)
Cleanliness & Safety: COVID-Era Chaos & The Constant Sanitizer Squeeze:
Okay, let’s talk COVID. The hotel tried. They really, really tried. Hygiene certification? Check. Anti-viral cleaning products? Check. Daily disinfection in common areas? Check. They even had those little individually-wrapped food options, which, honestly, made me feel like I was living in a futuristic hospital. The staff were masked, which was good and reassuring. The staff were clearly trained but the delivery… well, let's say some of them hadn't quite mastered the art of subtle social distancing. I was constantly dodging friendly attempts at hugs. The hand sanitizer was everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I felt like I was washing my hands a thousand times a day. Seriously, my hands were drier than the Sahara desert by the end of the week.
Dining: From Asian Fusion Dreams to Breakfast Buffet Disappointments
Alright, the food. This is where things got a little… uneven. The Asian cuisine restaurant was a revelation. I'm talking mind-blowing flavors, beautifully presented dishes, and a wine list that made my inner sommelier sing. The "a la carte in restaurant" experience was where they excelled, and I wish I could just hang out there.
The "breakfast buffet," however… Well, let's just say the "buffet in restaurant" was more of a… buffet-ish experience. The "Western breakfast" was fine, your standard eggs, bacon, pastries… But the coffee? Let's just say it tasted like dishwater mixed with regret. I'm a coffee snob, I admit it, but seriously, it was abysmal.
Ways to Relax (or Not Quite Relax): Spa, Sauna & Swimming Pools
Now, about the good stuff. The Sauna was divine! The "Spa/sauna" was a highlight. The "Spa" was a true indulgence, the "Pool with view?" Yes! The "Steamroom" was perfect for a good detox. The "Pool with view?" Stunning. Seriously, I spent hours just floating, staring at the landscape. The "Swimming pool [outdoor]" was lovely and clean, and the "Swimming pool" was a nice change to the sauna.
The "Fitness center" was well-equipped for a good workout. Although it was a bit of a hike from my room, so I’m not sure if I could say I used it. I'm definitely not the type to step on a treadmill!
Services and Conveniences: The Usual Stuff & A Few Quirks
The hotel had all the usual conveniences: "Daily housekeeping", "Laundry service", "Concierge", "Room service [24-hour]" (though I only used it once, and the food arrived cold). The "currency exchange" was handy. The front desk was always helpful.
Things to do (and the things I wanted to do):
I didn't do much outside of the hotel. Lots of places to go, but I just wanted to relax. I wanted to get a massage, but I just didn’t get around to it.
The Verdict: A Mix of Perfection and Imperfection
So, would I recommend the Texel Sauna House? Ah, that's the tricky part. It's a beautiful, well-designed hotel with some serious perks, and wonderful staff, though some training is needed. Accessibility, while mostly good, could be better. The food is a mixed bag, but the spa and sauna are pure bliss. Overall, it depends on what you're looking for. If you're a stickler for perfection, maybe manage your expectations. If you're a more relaxed traveler who appreciates good design, stunning views, and are willing to roll with the occasional imperfection, then yeah, give it a go. Just pack extra hand cream and maybe your own coffee beans. And for goodness sake, book that massage!
Escape to Tuscany: Luxurious Belvilla Getaway in Poppi, ItalyAlright, buckle up, buttercups. We're going to Texel. Not just to Texel, but to live on Texel for a hot minute. And by "live," I mean exist in a modern design house with a freakin' sauna. Prepare for a rollercoaster, because this itinerary? It's less "precision-timed symphony" and more "slightly chaotic, slightly hungover karaoke night."
Texel Texel: A Modern Design House, Sauna & Me (Plus A Whole Lot of Seagulls)
(Day 1: Arrival & the Great Texel Teeter)
- 10:00 AM: Schiphol Airport – Ah, Bless Amsterdam. Okay, so first off, Amsterdam. Absolutely gorgeous airport, and a quick train ride to Den Helder. That's where the ferry leaves for Texel. (Note to self: pack extra snacks. Airports = black holes for my appetite.) The train was… cozy. Let's just say I got intimately acquainted with the Dutch penchant for personal space (or lack thereof).
- 12:00 PM: Ferry to Texel! The ferry. I was expecting majestic Viking vibes. I got… a perfectly functional, slightly windy boat. But! The views? Stunning. The air? Salty and invigorating. I felt that familiar lurch of excitement: Adventure is near.
- 1:00 PM: Texel Arrival & House Hunting. The car rental was a total pain. They tried to upsell me on every single insurance plan! After the drama of driving, we reached the modern design house. I'm not sure if it was exhaustion, but I honestly did a double take when I saw it. The house was GORGEOUS. Sleek, minimalist, all floor-to-ceiling windows… and a damn sauna. Cue internal squealing.
- 2:00 PM: Groceries & Texel Panic. Okay, so I'm embarrassingly bad at grocery shopping. I wandered around the local supermarket, feeling utterly lost. There were so many kinds of cheese! So. Many. I panicked and grabbed the first thing that looked vaguely familiar (Gouda, naturally). Also a pre-made, lukewarm pasta salad. Hey, don't judge. Jet lag is a beast.
- 3:00 PM: House Unpacking Debacle & Sauna Dreams. Unpacking? More like a strategic pile-up of luggage in the corner. Priorities, people! Sauna first. I made a beeline for the sauna (after attempting, and failing, to assemble the coffee machine – clearly, I have a lot to learn).
- 4:00 PM: The Sauna Experience (Heaven, Then Humiliation). Ah, the sauna. The heat was intense, but in the best way, like a warm hug from the sun. I spent a blissful 10 minutes contemplating the meaning of life (and whether I should get another cheese). Then, I sneezed. Loudly. And then… again. And again. Apparently, my sinuses couldn't handle the heat. Leaving with my nose running like a faucet? Not my finest moment.
- 6:00 PM: Food & Fumbling with Dutch (Again). I attempted ordering pizza. It was disastrous. The language barrier, the hunger, the exhaustion… I stumbled over every word. Eventually, I just pointed at a pizza and prayed. It was delicious, though.
- 8:00 PM: Sunset Stroll & Seagull Sabotage. The beach beckoned. The sunset? Spectacular. So many colors. Then… the seagulls. Rude, aggressive, beady-eyed jerks. They dive-bombed me for a dropped breadcrumb. Honestly, I was terrified. I ran back to the house, defeated.
(Day 2: Beaches, Beer & the Great Texel Bicycle Adventure – Disaster Edition)
- 9:00 AM: The Awful Breakfast & the Promise of Better Things. That lukewarm pasta salad? Yeah, it made a repeat performance, along with the dry Gouda. I was questioning all my life choices. But, the sun was shining, and Texel's charm was beginning to win me over.
- 10:00 AM: Bike Rentals. (Prepare for carnage). Bikes. Texel is all about bikes. So, we rented them. I, of course, hadn't ridden one properly in… well, a while. Let's just say my coordination skills have atrophied.
- 11:00 AM: Beach Bums. Oh my god. The beach! The sand felt so soft under my feet. The water was freezing, but a nice experience. I really needed this peace and quiet.
- 2:00 PM: The Texel Bike Trail - or, the "Almost Died on a Bicycle" Tour. We set off to cycle along the coast, with a great intention to explore the islands beauty. About 20 minutes later, I managed to get my bike tangled in some bushes and fall off. I was covered in scrapes. I was convinced I was going to cycle straight into the North Sea. The thought of a very cold dip in the ocean did not impress me.
- 3:00 PM: Texel Brewery – Beer & Redemption. After the bicycle disaster, some therapy was needed so we went to a local brewery. Dutch beer is fantastic! I took two glasses, maybe three. I don't remember much after that.
- 5:00 PM: The Great Texel Sauna Recovery! Back to the sauna I went. This time, no sneezing! Just relaxation. The heat works wonders.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner (Finally, Proper Cooking). Managed to cook a decent meal. The simple act of preparing food felt good after the chaos. And, I’m glad to say I had the energy to do it.
(Day 3: Bird Watching, Dune Rambles & Farewell (Sobbing Alert))
9:00 AM: Bird Watching (And Failing Miserably). Texel is a birdwatcher's paradise. I thought I'd give it a shot. Armed with binoculars and a vague sense of optimism, I set off. I saw a lot of… gulls. And a blur of other birds. I'm pretty sure I need an expert.
11:00 AM: Dune Stroll & Existential Thoughts. The dunes are epic. Rolling hills of sand, wind whipping through your hair, and not a single seagull in sight! It was the kind of place that makes you think. I had serious thoughts about leaving everything and moving to Texel.
1:00 PM: Lunch at a Coastal Cafe. Fish and chips. Delicious. The view? Paradise.
3:00 PM: Last Sauna Session. One final, and perfect, sauna session.
5:00 PM: Packing (Again, Not Well). The suitcase, a testament to my chaotic packing skills.
7:00 PM: The Last Supper & Tears. Last dinner in the house. I'm going to miss it. The house. The sauna. The… well, maybe not the seagulls. But the island was amazing.
8:00 PM: Goodbye Texel. The whole departure was a blur. Ferry, train, plane. The journey was beautiful and heartbreaking. Goodbye, Texel.
Important Considerations:
- Language: Learn some basic Dutch phrases. You'll need them. "Cheese," "beer," and "help, a seagull stole my sandwich" are good starting points.
- Seagulls: They are aggressive. Don't make eye contact. Don't drop food. Be wary.
- Bikes: Practice beforehand. Seriously.
- Sauna: Drink plenty of water. And maybe don't sneeze.
- Expectations: This is a trip. Shit will go wrong. Embrace the imperfections. And the Gouda. Embrace the Gouda!