Escape to Paradise: Stunning Kamperland Beachfront Holiday Home!
Escape to Paradise: A Kamperland Beachfront Holiday Home Review - (Finally!)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I just got back from Escape to Paradise, that "Stunning Kamperland Beachfront Holiday Home" they keep going on about. And I have a LOT to unpack. Forget the perfectly curated Instagram shots, I'm here to give you the REAL deal. This is going to be a word vomit of feelings, opinions, and maybe a few too many coffee breaks. You've been warned.
Metadata & SEO (because, you know, gotta play the game): Kamperland, beachfront, holiday home, Netherlands, accessibility, spa, swimming pool, family-friendly, luxury, reviews, Zierikzee, Zeeland, pet-friendly (sort of - see later!), wifi, restaurants, things to do, quiet retreat, escape, relaxation, Dutch coastline.
First, the Buzzkill (But Necessary): Accessibility & Cleanliness - Ugh, the Reality of it All
Let's get the boring bits out of the way. Accessibility. Well, they say "facilities for disabled guests." I'll be honest, I didn’t specifically check for wheelchair access, but the property is spread out, so be sure to inquire, I'd hate to be wrong. The elevator seemed decent (yay for elevator!). The property has CCTV everywhere (in common areas and outside), which gives you that feeling of being watched - but in a strangely reassuring way? Safety features? Fire extinguishers, smoke alarms, the usual suspects. They take safety seriously.
The cleanliness game is strong. The Daily disinfection in common areas felt a bit…overkill, if I'm honest. But I guess, at least they tried. There are "Anti-viral cleaning products," "Sanitized kitchen and tableware items," and things like "Individually-wrapped food options," which, you know, scream "post-pandemic paranoia," but I guess it's better than the alternative. I even saw someone "Sterilizing equipment" – I guess its a thing, at least here! They also offer Room sanitization opt-out available - good that they give you a choice, eh?
The Internet Abyss: A Tale of Two Routers
Wi-Fi? They trumpet it. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! (Okay, that's a plus.) AND! Internet [LAN] available! (Whoa, retro!) But… the internet…oh, the internet. It reminded me of that ex who promised the world and delivered…well, sometimes. The Wi-Fi, while technically present, occasionally resembled a dial-up connection. I, personally, opted for going cold turkey internet-wise because that seemed a more reliable option for a relaxing holiday, but everyone else was complaining about it. However, the Internet [LAN] did work (for a bit, at least!). So, if you're planning on streaming every episode of that show, you might want to mentally prepare for buffering. Or, you know, embrace the digital detox!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Buffet of Opinions (and Bacon!)
Ah, food. My true love. Let’s start with the basics, shall we? Breakfast [buffet]? Yes. Buffet in restaurant? Also yes. Breakfast service? Indeed. And the all-important Western breakfast? Oh, hallelujah. Okay. The buffet was… good. Standard hotel buffet fare, with a decent selection. The bacon was crispy (important!), the pastries were passable, and the coffee required several shots to achieve consciousness. Asian breakfast was also available, I think I saw it - not that I cared - bring me the bacon! There’s also an Asian Cuisine in Restaurant. But I was all about that Western Cuisine in restaurant. They also have a Coffee Shop and Poolside bar. The Happy hour was happy, especially after the buffering internet debacle of the morning!
I did enjoy a Bottle of water by the bed in the room, it's the little things, eh? I did however have a lovely Desserts in restaurant – Yum!
They also offer Room service [24-hour] – great after a few drinks!
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: Bliss, with a Side of Swedish Massage
Okay, this is where Escape to Paradise really tries to live up to its name. They have a lot of ways to unwind. We're talking the whole shebang: Fitness center, Gym/fitness, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]. It had everything you'd expect, and Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath, Massage the massages were heavenly, if I do say so myself.
The Pool with view was…well, it’s a pool. Great views, though, especially at sunset, you definitely need to escape to the pool, you know, forget all the worries of the world!
The Room: My Personal Oasis (with a Few Quirks)
Now, the rooms. Ah, my little haven. They have Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], and Window that opens.
Honestly, my room was lovely. The bed was comfy (extra-long, thank you very much!), the view was stunning (I really liked the umbrella!), and the coffee/tea maker was a godsend. There were some imperfections, though. The Satellite/cable channels? Mostly Dutch. The Hair dryer? Borderline useless. Not a huge issue, but it made me feel like I was back in the 90s, a bit (I needed a real hair dryer!), and the Slippers? Too small. But, you know, minor grievances.
Services and Conveniences: The Perks You Didn't Know You Needed
They offer a ton of services. Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center. Cash withdrawal, Concierge, and Daily housekeeping were all absolute lifesavers. Also, Laundry service saved me a ton of time.
The Terrace was a welcome addition especially during the sunset!
For the Kids (and the Kid in You): Fun for All Ages
Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal. It's definitely set up for families. I didn’t have any kids with me, but I saw plenty of happy little gremlins running around.
Getting Around: Driving, Parking, and the Mystery of the Bike
Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking. Parking was free and plentiful, so that's a bonus. I didn't use the Airport transfer, but it's there. They have a Taxi service, of course. Also, Valet parking. But here's a funny story: I actually tried to rent a bike. Turns out, there weren't any available! So, that's the mystery of the bike.
The Verdict: Paradise (with a Few Flaws)
So, would I recommend Escape to Paradise? Yes, absolutely. Even with the wonky Wi-Fi, the slightly overbearing cleaning protocols, and the mystery of the missing bike. The location is beautiful, the staff is lovely, and the whole vibe is relaxing. Its far from perfect, but it is a great place.
Final Rating: 4 out of 5 stars. (Minus one star for the internet and the disappearing bikes!)
Escape to Tuscany: Luxurious Villa Roseto Awaits! (Belvilla by OYO)
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because this Kamperland itinerary is about to get REAL. Forget the pristine brochures and picture-perfect Instagram feeds. This is about embracing the beautiful mess of a holiday – the good, the bad, and the absolutely hilarious. We're talking about a holiday home near the beach, in Kamperland, Netherlands. Let's see if my sanity survives.
Day 1: Arrival – The Great Luggage Shuffle & Initial Panic
- 14:00 - 16:00: Arrive at the holiday home. "Relaxing" is the brochure's word. My word? Chaos. Unloading the car feels like a Tetris game played with stress and the incessant buzzing of a fly trapped in the car. Seriously, why are flies so relentless? The kids are already demanding snacks and WiFi. You know, the essentials. The house looks promising from the outside, but inside? Well, let's just say "lived in" doesn't always equate to "sparkling clean," does it? Found a suspicious stain on the sofa. Sigh. Welcome to holiday.
- 16:00 - 17:00: The Great Unpacking. Where's the coffee maker? Wait, is this even the right type of coffee maker? My brain feels like scrambled eggs. Suddenly, the kids are fighting over who gets the "best" bedroom. Naturally, the answer is the one with the least amount of dust bunnies. Deal with the kids and get them settled.
- 17:00 - 18:00: Quick grocery run. Armed with a list (that I may or may not have written under duress) and a crumpled map. I’m pretty sure Dutch supermarkets are designed to confuse tourists. Everything is in Dutch. I grab the wrong type of butter (the one that’s apparently for baking but tastes like… well, I'm not entirely sure). I find my way back, the first small victory of the day.
- 18:00 - 19:00: Dinner prep – a valiant attempt at pasta with a questionable sauce (thanks, wrong butter). The kids claim it's "inedible," but, hey, we're alive, right? And the wine isn't bad. That's a definite plus. Someone spilled the tomato sauce on the wall.
Day 2: Beach Bliss (and Minor Sand-Related Disasters)
- 09:00: Wake up. The sun's shining, and the birds are chirping. Ah, peace… until the kids realize there's no breakfast. Then the chaos starts again. Breakfast - a questionable mix of cereal and toast.
- 10:00 - 13:00: BEACH DAY! Hooray. Load up the car with beach paraphernalia (sand toys, towels, sunscreen – a whole mountain of stuff). The beach is beautiful, truly. The waves crash, the sand sparkles. We build a magnificent sandcastle, I may have gotten a little carried away. But then, SURPRISE!!! A rogue wave demolishes it. Kids’ faces fall. Tears. More tears. Sand. Everywhere.
- 13:00 - 14:00: Lunch at a beachside café. I'm starving for a fresh fish. The fries are cold. The waiter is a bit grumpy, but at least the view is stunning. I'm already sunburned.
- 14:00 - 16:00: More beach time. This round, we're focusing on bodyboarding. I, of course, completely wipe out and end up swallowing half the North Sea. The kids are in hysterics. I can't help but laugh too, despite the salt water in my lungs. We finally learn to roll with it.
- 16:00 - 17:00: Beach cleanup. Realizing how much sand has invaded every single crevice of our being.
- 17:00 - 19:00: Home. Showering off all the sand… it's still there. We decide to order pizza to take away… only to discover they're closed on Mondays. And then the power cuts. You know, the usual. Candlelight dinner it is!
Day 3: Exploring, Biking, & (Possibly) Getting Lost
- 09:00: The sun is out again. A new day. This time, with coffee, and maybe, just maybe, a plan.
- 10:00 - 13:00: Bike ride around Kamperland. We rented some bikes, only to discover that my bike seat is about 14 inches too low. My backside is going to be in serious trouble. The scenery is beautiful. So many windmills. I get distracted and accidentally cycle up a tiny, ridiculously steep hill. I almost fall. The kids find this hilarious.
- 13:00 - 14:00: Lunch at a local cafe. More fries? (Why not). The weather turns colder, we retreat into our cosy hideaway.
- 14:00 - 16:00: Exploring the town. Trying to remember if I locked the bike. I didn't. I remember that later and immediately panic. We wander through the shops, I buy too much chocolate. I find a quaint little shop selling pottery. I am tempted. But then, the kids start arguing. We head home. The bike is (amazingly) still there.
- 16:00 - 17:00: Back home. We decide to play a board game. It gets competitive. The kids cheat. I may have cheated back. Tensions are running high… like a pressure cooker.
- 17:00 - 19:00: We watch a film together. The kids are asleep. I'm enjoying the peace.
- 19:00: I feel like my mood lifts. I am so happy. I write in my journal.
Day 4: The Unplanned Surprise & a Culinary Triumph (Sort Of)
- 10:00: A sleep in. Yes!
- 11:00: Discoveries! There's a local market today, apparently. It's teeming with people. I buy some weird, unidentifiable Dutch treats. The kids are unimpressed. I’m cautiously optimistic (and hungry).
- 12:00: We stroll around the marketplace. I buy some flowers.
- 13:00: We pick up a takeaway. I don't feel like cooking.
- 14:00 - 16:00: Attempt to build a fire. (Again). The kids go for a walk. I'm alone. I manage to make a small fire. It's a moment of peace.
- 16:00: The kids come back. Together, we listen to my favourite album.
- 17:00: I make dinner. It's better than expected.
- 18:00: The kids are fighting again. I switch off the lights and send them to bed.
- 19:00: I feel calm and relaxed.
Day 5: Departure – The bittersweet goodbye
- 09:00 - 11:00: Pack up. The dreaded task. The house looks messier than when we arrived, somehow. How is that even possible?
- 11:00 - 12:00: Final sweep. The kids find an old book in the cupboard. We read it.
- 12:00: Say goodbye. One last look at the beach. Sigh.
- 13:00 - 14:00: Get on the road. I stop for a coffee. I stop for a wee. The drive is long. The journey is long.
- 14:00: I put my phone down. I focus on driving.
This itinerary is a rough guide, people. Life, kids, and Dutch butter have a way of messing with the best-laid plans. But hey, that's part of the fun, right? Embrace the chaos, the sand in your shoes, the questionable meals, and the moments of pure, unadulterated joy. Kamperland, you won't be forgotten. And maybe, just maybe, I'll learn to actually relax next time. (Probably not).
Unbelievable Tuscany Escape: Belvilla Muleti 3 Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Kamperland Beachfront - Or, How I Survived (and Maybe Even Enjoyed) a Week by the North Sea!
Okay, so "Paradise"... is that a *lie*? Because the North Sea in November historically involves gale-force winds and the existential dread of a permanent drizzle.
Alright, alright, let's get real. Paradise? It's a *stretch*. But, hear me out! The marketing photos? Sun-drenched beach, happy families building sandcastles... Yeah, the reality was more like battling a horizontal hailstorm on arrival. My initial thought, standing there, wind ripping at my jacket? "Yep. Nailed it." But then... the house! That freaking house. Seriously, the photos don't do it justice (which, frankly, is impressive, they looked pretty good). It was warm, cozy and the view... that's where the "escape" part comes in. Eventually.
Is the house *actually* beachfront? Because "beachfront" these days seems to mean "a five-minute walk across a busy road and through a car park."
Okay, this is a *major* win. Beachfront? Honey, it's basically *on* the beach. You stumble out of the back door (after, admittedly, putting on about three layers of clothing, depending on the wind), and you're *there*. Sand, the relentless sea, screaming gulls, the whole shebang. I actually had a moment – a genuine *moment* – where I just stood there, staring at the waves, letting the wind whip my hair around. It wasn't warm. My nose was probably running. But it was... freeing. Like, properly freeing. It was also where I nearly lost my favorite hat. Which would have been a tragedy. (More on the hat later. The hat deserves its own novella, really.)
The website boasts about a "fully equipped kitchen." What does that *actually* mean? Because I've been burned before by "fully equipped" meaning "one dodgy frying pan and a spatula with a melted handle."
Okay, the kitchen *almost* redeemed the slightly-too-cold weather. It wasn’t Michelin-star-level, obviously. But it was legitimately well-equipped. And this is coming from someone who packs her *own* coffee maker on holiday. There were actual decent pots and pans! A proper knife set! (Though I did accidentally slice a tomato so aggressively that I nearly amputated my finger. Note to self: less enthusiastic tomato-chopping in the future.) The only downside? Learning that Gouda is a *lot* harder to grate than it looks. My arms ached for days. But the cheese! Oh, the cheese!
What about the Wi-Fi? Because a digital detox sounds great... until you need to check your emails, or, you know, *exist*.
Okay, the Wi-Fi... was... present. Let's put it that way. It wasn't blazing fast. It wasn't going to win any awards. But! It was stable enough to download Netflix (important). And it *mostly* held up for the obligatory family video calls where I had to pretend I was enthusiastically enjoying the brisk sea air while, in reality, I was huddled in front of the fireplace, desperately trying to thaw out my toes. (And, yes, I did manage to sneak a few sneaky work emails in there, don’t judge me!) Look, it was a *holiday*, not a digital prison.
Are there any activities for, you know, *doing things*? Or is it just going to involve staring at the sea and slowly going mad?
Staring at the sea is *definitely* on the menu. And it's glorious. But yes, there are things to *do*. There are bikes! (Which, if you’re me, leads to a near-death experience involving a rogue sand dune and very loud swearing. But still a *thrilling* near-death experience! Just saying.) You can explore the area. Walks on the beach (wind permitting, of course). The nearby town is charming. You can go crabbing (which, I confess, I attempted. And failed miserably. Those crabs are *fast*!). I spent a good day just wandering a local farmer's market, eating things I couldn't even pronounce. Honestly, the list is endless, but my personal highlight was, hands down, the hat incident. Let me tell you about the hat incident... It was a beautiful wool hat, a deep, rich blue. I loved that hat. I’d got it in London, and it had traveled the world with me. One particularly blustery afternoon, I was walking on the beach, feeling all windswept and wise and *totally* in touch with nature. Suddenly, a gust of wind, a *massive* gust of wind, ripped my hat straight off my head and flung it, like a fluffy blue missile, into the churning sea. I watched, horrified, as it bobbed away, getting further and further. I sprinted after it! Tripping, swearing, nearly faceplanting in the wet sand. I looked like a maniac! (I probably *was* a maniac.) I was absolutely devastated! But then… some other couple, who were having a far more sedate stroll, saw my plight. The man, bless his heart, waded into the freezing water and rescued my hat! He looked like he'd just fought a kraken, but my hat was saved. It was freezing, but it was *alive*! Best holiday moment, by a mile. If he's reading this: *thank you, stranger!*
Is it suitable for kids? Because "kid-friendly" can be a red flag sometimes...
From a very non-kid-person perspective... yes, I'd say it's kid-friendly. The beach is right there! Sandcastles galore! Space to run around and burn off energy. There's a garden. The house has a decent layout. I saw a family there with little ones getting a proper blast! Now, whether *they* will find it a true paradise, I can’t say. But it’s a good bet.
Anything else I should know? Any hidden fees, weird neighbours, or rogue seagulls to be wary of?
Okay, a few things. Hidden fees? Nope, pretty standard. Weird neighbors? Nope, everyone was lovely. Rogue Seagulls? Oh, yes. They are *ruthless*. They will steal your food. They will glare at you with cold, calculating eyes. Protect your snacks. Seriously. Other than that... pack layers. Embrace the wind. And maybe bring a good hat. (And a hero to rescue it!) Would I go back? Absolutely. Despite the near-frostbite, the relentless wind, and the crab-related failures, I loved it. It was a true escape. World Of Lodging
