Escape to Provence: Your Dream Apartment Awaits in Saumane-de-Vaucluse!
Escape to Provence: My Dream Apartment…or Did I Just Escape My Sanity? (A Messy Review of Saumane-de-Vaucluse)
Okay, so "Escape to Provence: Your Dream Apartment Awaits" sounds idyllic, right? Sun-drenched landscapes, the chirping of cicadas, the promise of life slowing down to the gentle rhythm of… well, whatever the French do. And Saumane-de-Vaucluse? Sounds like a name whispered on the wind, full of hidden beauty. Well, let me tell you, after my stay, I'm still not sure if I escaped to the dream, or if the dream just escaped me. Buckle up, buttercups, because this review's gonna be less Michelin star and more… well, you'll see.
Metadata & SEO Bait (Because, you know, gotta get those clicks!): #Provence #Saumane-de-Vaucluse #ApartmentReview #LuxuryTravel #Spa #SwimmingPool #Accessibility #FamilyFriendly #Foodie #France #Vacation #TravelReview #HiddenGem #Relaxation #Escape #HotelReview #FrenchVacation #WheelchairAccessible #WiFifee #Saumane #LuxuryApartment
First, the Basics (Because, you know, I’m trying to appear organized…):
Accessibility: Okay, this part's actually pretty decent! The website said wheelchair accessible, and it mostly delivered. The apartment itself - my "dream apartment"- was surprisingly maneuverable, and the elevator was a godsend. Getting around the public areas was… a mixed bag. Some ramps were great, others felt like a DIY project gone wrong. This is a very important point for me and its inclusion in the review is more than just filling categories. A quick note: They need to hire someone to assess properly. Its not okay to make assumptions and leave it up to you to see if it works.
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: Didn't eat at the on-site restaurant but the outdoor lounge was easy enough to roll up to.
Wheelchair accessible: Yes, mostly. [7/10] for effort, still needs work.
Internet, Glorious Internet (And Other Techy Stuff):
- Internet Access, Internet [LAN], Wi-Fi in all rooms!, and Wi-Fi in public areas: Alright, the Wi-Fi in the apartment was stellar. Seriously, I could stream, video call, and endlessly scroll through Instagram without a single buffering hiccup. The public areas? Hit or miss. Sometimes it was lightning fast, other times I felt like I was back in the dial-up era. [8/10] for in-room, [6/10] elsewhere.
- Internet services: I'm sure they had some services, but honestly, all I needed was the speed and the damn thing worked. So, point for that.
- Audio-visual equipment for special events, Projector/LED display, Wi-Fi for special events: Not my circus, not my monkeys. Didn't attend anything of that nature. But the apartment’s smart TV was a plus.
Things to Do (Or, How I Tried to Relax, and Failed Spectacularly):
- Ways to relax: Okay, this is where it gets interesting. This place is supposedly a relaxation mecca.
- Body scrub, Body wrap: Didn't go for this.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: I’m pretty sure the "fitness center" was a converted storage room. The equipment looked sad and lonely. I got a better workout carrying my luggage. [2/10]. (I saw a treadmill that looked like it was from the 80's).
- Foot bath, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom: I do love a good spa. The spa looked lovely and well-appointed. The sauna was divine! The steamroom? Well… let's just say it was a bit too steamy. I felt like I was inside a giant, overpriced, and very humid, cloud. [8/10] for spa, [6/10] for steam room, [0/10] for "I have no idea what that foot bath was".
- Massage: I got a massage. It was good. A little pricey, but the masseuse was skilled. She really did knead out the knots. [7/10].
- Pool with view, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: The pool was gorgeous. Breathtaking views. The water was the perfect temperature. I spent hours just floating and staring at the landscape. This was the escape I was looking for. 10/10
- Sauna: Mentioned it above. Was great. 9/10
Cleanliness and Safety (Because, You Know, We're Still Living in That World):
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: They were very serious about hygiene. Maybe a little over the top? The amount of hand sanitizer stations was borderline comical. I swear they fogged the apartment between my shower and getting dressed. But hey, at least I felt safe-ish?
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Presumably yes. I think? Never saw laundry facilities.
- Cashless payment service: Yes.
- Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit: Didn't need it, thankfully.
- Shared stationery removed: Of course. Every pen, every book, that was the end of "sharing".
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (Or, My Stomach's Adventure in Provence):
- A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Bottle of water, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant: Ah, food! Here's where it got… interesting.
- Restaurants: Didn't eat at the Restaurant, so can't comment.
- Breakfast service, Breakfast [buffet], Western breakfast: The breakfast buffet was… okay. The croissants were a little stale, the coffee tasted like dishwater. The staff were very accommodating and brought me some fresh fruit.
- Poolside bar: The poolside bar was a lifesaver! Cocktails were strong and the scenery was perfect for a lazy afternoon
- Room service [24-hour]: I definitely took advantage of the 24-hour room service. The menu was decent.
Services and Conveniences (The Bits and Pieces):
- Air conditioning in public area, Air conditioning, Air conditioning in the public area: Essential. Especially when the sun is beating down in Provence.
- Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge: Fine, standard. The concierge was actually quite helpful with getting me restaurant recommendations.
- Contactless check-in/out: Smooth and easy.
- Convenience store: A small shop had overpriced snacks.
- Currency exchange: Yes.
- Daily housekeeping: They were very efficient. The place was spotless after they were in.
- Doorman, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage: Standard and helpful.
- Food delivery: No.
- Gift/souvenir shop: A cute (and expensive) shop.
- Indoor venue for special events, Outdoor venue for special events, Meetings, Meeting/banquet facilities, On-site event hosting, Seminars: Didn't encounter any events, thankfully.
- Invoice provided: Yes.
- Safety deposit boxes: Yep.
- Smoking area: Yes, thankfully.
- Terrace: Lovely. I spent a lot of time on the terrace, sipping wine and watching the sunset.
- Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center: Who uses faxes anymore?
- Daily housekeeping, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Invoice provided: Yes to all.
For the Kids (Because, Let's Be Honest, This Place Is Probably Good for Them):
- Babysitting service: Yes.
- Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: The kids facilities looked well-equipped
- Hotel chain: A big hotel chain usually means consistency, and that's what you get
Access, and Safety (Yawn…):
- **CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private], Couple's room, Exterior corridor, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour],
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's meticulously planned itinerary. This is the "Saumane Shuffle," and we're just gonna see where the cobbled streets and rosé-fueled whims take us. We're talking a charming apartment in Saumane-de-Vaucluse, France, a promise of sunshine, and the distinct possibility of forgetting where I put my keys. Let's do this, shall we?
The Saumane Shuffle: A Semi-Organized Chaos
Day 1: Arrival & the Great Bag-Unpack Debacle
Morning (Sometime after I pry myself out of bed – jetlag is a beast): Arrive at (hopefully) Saumane-de-Vaucluse! The apartment is stunning online, all exposed beams and Provençal charm. Fingers crossed it looks as good in real life, because if not, I'm demanding a refund and a lifetime supply of croissants. Getting to the apartment is a whole other story - I booked the train, but the connection was a nightmare. I'm pretty sure I spent more time sprinting than relaxing.
Mid-Morning/Early Afternoon: Bag-Unpack-and-Collapse-Into-A-Wine-Induced-Nap: Ah, the sacred ritual of settling in. Except, the ritual usually involves a frantic rummage through my suitcase (which, naturally, exploded during transit), a minor panic because I can't find my adapter (essential, people!), and then the crushing realization that I packed way too many shoes. But who am I kidding? I need the shoes.
- Once the essentials are located (toothbrush, phone charger, wine opener), the real work begins: Unpacking. This is usually interrupted by me staring out the window, mesmerized by the view. This time, it was even more mesmerizing. A tiny, stone church, a flock of sheep with bells, and an old Frenchman whistling a jaunty tune. I felt myself start to relax, and immediately regretted it.
- Next, the inevitable nap. Because vacations are for sleeping, right?
Late Afternoon/Evening: Exploring & the Existential Dread of Choosing Dinner: Okay, so, actually exploring. Stumbling out of the apartment, fueled by the faint memory of the wine, I'm going to wander the village. Get lost, I hope. Find a café, order something that definitely won't be too complicated. Probably pasta. And then… the dreaded dinner question. Will it be pizza? Steak frites? The sheer weight of culinary choices is enough to make me want to crawl back into bed. But, alas, hunger will win.
- Anecdote Alert: The last time I did this, I wandered into a tiny, absolutely deserted restaurant. The owner, a woman with more wrinkles than a prune (in the most charming way), didn't speak any English. I didn't speak any French beyond "bonjour" and "vin rouge." We communicated entirely through smiles, hand gestures, and the universal language of delicious food. The food was, to put it mildly, fantastic.
Day 2: Market Mayhem & the Pursuit of the Perfect Lavender Field
Morning: Market Madness! I'm planning (with a vague sense of optimism) to hit the local market. I'm picturing overflowing stalls of colorful produce, crusty bread, pungent cheeses, and maybe, just maybe, a beret. I’ll need to get there before all the good stuff is gone, this is going to be a race.
- Flaw: The reality will probably involve me getting lost, flailing around in my broken French, and accidentally knocking over a pyramid of peaches. And then feeling utterly charming about it.
- Quirky Observation: The French have a particular genius for arranging produce in a way that makes everything look ridiculously gorgeous. Like, honestly, a carrot can be a work of art.
Mid-Morning: Coffee and Crisis: My French isn’t great, and I'm sure I'll mangle my attempt at ordering a coffee. The waitress might look at me sideways, that's a hazard of travel.
Afternoon: Lavender Field Nirvana… Or Not. The goal: Find a lavender field. Photograph it. Smell it. Become one with lavender. It's a classic cliché, and I'm not ashamed. I’ve seen the pictures. The purples, the sun!
- Emotion: If I DO find the perfect field, I might cry a little. It’ll be happiness. If I can't find one… I'll stomp my feet.
Evening: Dinner and the Promise of Stargazing. Find a nice restaurant, eat something delicious, and then… stargaze from the balcony. Because, France. And stars. It’s got to be done.
Day 3: The Day of The Chateau
Morning: Chateau de Saumane-de-Vaucluse: I'll decide how to get there in the morning. It depends how much wine I drank and, you know, the state of my legs.
Afternoon/Evening: Chateau exploration and Dinner: I think I will just walk around and enjoy the view, and then have a late lunch at the village restaurant. This is where the stream-of-consciousness element kicks in. I'll probably ramble about the history of the chateau, my thoughts on the architecture, and how much I wish I could just live in a castle. Followed by the inevitable "why did I study English literature?".
Day 4: Whim, Wine, & Wonder
Morning: The Day of the Mistake I'll wake up with a vague sense of dread (and probably a mild headache). I'm going to spend the day with a vague plan, and completely botch it. I'll get lost, probably wander into the wrong village, and miss whatever "must-see" attraction I was supposed to visit.
- The mistake is inevitable.
Afternoon/Evening: Rosé and Revelry
- Okay, so I'll probably buy way too much rosé.
- I'll try to learn some basic French.
- I'll sit somewhere, just look at the view, and find a sense of peace.
The Emotional Avalanche: I'm going to sit at a café, drink wine, and just feel. I'll be overcome with joy, annoyance, and the strange, bittersweet beauty of it all. It's almost going to be a spiritual experience.
Day 5: Departure (Sob!)
Morning: The Sad Farewell: The last morning. The dreaded suitcase packing. The frantic last-minute purchase of lavender soap. A lingering sadness that only more wine will cure.
Afternoon: Leaving: The train. The airport. The inevitable return to reality. But also, filled with memories of charm, beauty and the faint scent of lavender.
Evening: Home to reality: I'll spend the evening at home, scrolling through photos, missing the place, and already planning my return.
Final Thoughts:
This, my friends, is the Saumane Shuffle. It's messy. It's imperfect. It's probably going to be the best trip ever. Or at least a story to tell. And that's all that really matters, isn't it?
Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Cottage Awaits in Lake Waimes, Belgium!
Escape to Provence: Your Dream Apartment Awaits in Saumane-de-Vaucluse! - REALLY? Let's Find Out!
Okay, Seriously... What *IS* Saumane-de-Vaucluse Like? Does it Actually *Feel* Like Provence?
Alright, listen, before you start picturing yourself sipping rosé on a balcony, let me be brutally honest. *Is* Saumane-de-Vaucluse Provence? Technically, yes. Does it FEEL like that glossy, postcard-perfect Provence? Sometimes. Mostly, it's...real. Like, you're more likely to see a farmer wrestling with his tractor than a supermodel in a flowing white dress (though, hey, anything's possible!).
The drive *in*? Oh, the drive *in*. I got hopelessly lost the first time – GPS went haywire! Ended up on this tiny, winding road that felt like it hadn't been touched since the Romans. And then? BOOM. The village. Stone houses, narrow streets, the clang of a bell from...I *think* it was the local church (still haven't figured that out). It's charming, yes. But it's also...quiet. Like, *really* quiet. Which, honestly, is a godsend after living in...well, *my* city. You get used to the silence. And the cicadas. Lord, the cicadas… they’re like a permanent summer soundtrack. Annoying at first, comforting as heck later.
The Apartment! What's it *Really* Like? No Sugarcoating, Please!
Alright, truth time. The apartment? It's NOT a luxury penthouse. Let's be clear. It’s comfortable. It's *charming*. Think exposed beams, maybe some slightly wonky walls (hello, ancient building!). The kitchen? Yeah, it's probably not got a built-in ice maker (I checked!). But it HAS a charm. The kind where you feel like you're stepping back in time… in a good way. Like, I picture myself in this little corner and find myself making bread – who even *am* I?
The best thing, hands down? The *view*. God, the view. Even on a gloomy day, that view will knock your socks off. And the balcony? Essential. You'll spend hours out there with a glass of wine, watching the sun set. Prepare to be utterly, completely, and irrevocably *in love* with the balcony. Just... beware the rogue pigeon... (still battling to tame Mr. Squawk!)
What About WiFi? Because... You Know. The Modern World.
Okay, deep breaths. WiFi... it's there. Kinda. Let's just say it's not *blazing* fast. Think of it as "sufficient for emails, and maybe a little light web browsing." Don’t expect to binge-watch Netflix. More like… *patiently* wait for a grainy YouTube video to buffer. It’s a great thing, though. It forces you to disconnect. To actually *be* there! But, if you’re a social media addict, prepare to have a little withdrawal. Embrace the slow internet life. It’s…liberating, in a strangely masochistic way.
Food! Where Do I Get Food? And is There *Good* Food? Because I'm Obsessed.
Food? Oh. My. God. Get ready. Saumane has a tiny little grocery store (it's ridiculously quaint), and the baker is a legend. His croissants are *life-altering*. I'm not kidding. I gained five pounds in the first week. Worth. Every. Single. Bite. There’s a *terrific* restaurant a short drive away – *Le Bistrot de l'Isle* – that serves the most amazing local food (seriously, the duck confit… just get it. Thank me later).
But here’s the *real* tip: Go to the markets! The local markets are a feast for the senses. Vibrant colours, the smells of fresh herbs and ripe fruit, the chatter of the vendors... it's pure heaven. And the produce? Unbelievably fresh. I swear, I once bought tomatoes at the market that tasted like sunshine and happiness. (Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a *little*… but they were good.) Just be prepared to navigate some French – my accent is atrocious but somehow I muddle by. That's part of the fun, right?
What About the Heat? I heard it Gets HOT in Provence!
Oh, honey, YES. It gets HOT. Like, “melt your makeup off and make you want to hide in a cave” hot. The good news is, the apartment has air conditioning (thank the lord!). Also, the stone walls keep things relatively cool. And there’s a refreshing swimming pool *nearby*. Essential. Absolutely essential. Oh, and don’t forget the suncream, the hat, and all the water. Drink ALL the water! You'll sweat buckets, but hey, it's part of the experience. Find some shade!
Is There a Catch? What's the *Downside*?
Okay, the downside. Let’s be honest for a second. Yes, there are a few things. The WiFi can be temperamental (already mentioned). The language barrier can be… challenging sometimes. And… well… the isolation. It’s a very small village. If you thrive on constant activity and nightlife, this might not be your scene. You might find yourself feeling… a little lonely. Sometimes. Also, the driving. Those roads! But honestly? The peace and quiet, the beauty, the food, the *feeling* of getting away from everything… it outweighs all the little annoyances. Completely. For me, at least. And that’s what really matters, right? Your own experience.
What's the *Best* Thing About Staying Here?
The best thing? Without a doubt, it’s the feeling of *escaping*. Of *really* getting away from it all. It’s the feeling of slowing down, of breathing deeply, of rediscovering the simple pleasures in life. It’s the sunsets, the sunrises, the long, lazy lunches, the conversations with the locals (even if you only understand half of what they're saying!). It's that feeling you get sitting on the balcony, sipping wine, and just… *being*. Pure bliss. Absolutely, utterly, and completely worth it. Yeah, seriously, that balcony view!
Help! I'm Thinking of Booking. What Should I *Really* Bring?
Okay, packing. Here’sNomad Hotel Search
